Man Farts On Elevator, Blames Woman Next To Him

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Chicago, Illinois.   A man farted this morning on a crowded elevator in downtown Chicago and blamed it on a woman who was standing next to him.  “It was a REALLY smelly fart,” said the man, 48-year-old neurosurgeon, John Wind, “and I didn’t want people to think I was the one who blew it, so I blamed a woman who was standing next to me.  ‘Lady,’ I said loudly to her, ‘couldn’t you have waited to blow that fart until you got off the elevator?  The smell is making my eyes burn.’  Everyone looked at her, and she turned beat red from embarrassment.  She got off at the next floor and quickly scurried away.  Yeah, I know, it was kind of an asshole thing to do, but, hey, someone had to take the blame for stinking up the elevator, and I figured it was better her than me.”

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20 thoughts on “Man Farts On Elevator, Blames Woman Next To Him

  1. How terribly mean! I’d have had everyone exit and leave him in there to face the consequences of dealing it, and blaming it on someone else! 😀

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  2. I guess if there isn’t a dog to blame, blame the woman next to you …

    Wait, that didn’t sound right.

    I will go have my wife flog me for that 🙂

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  3. 😀 I have done that to Ron before… needless to say I got no loving that night!!! However it was fun. Yes I am a 10 year old boy in a Old mans body. Hugs

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  4. That was mean

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  5. What a guy he is. I can make a variety of different farting sounds with my hands – quite loud too. If I practiced, I’m sure I could play a tune! I used it to play pranks on my fellow coworkers. Once, I sneaked behind my buddy’s partitioned office while he was interviewing a big-wig and began exercising my “skill.” He got so mad!!! That was on the 15th floor of 1 Bush St. in the heart of San Francisco’s financial district. This is what goes on within the ivory towers of corporate America!

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  6. Actually, coward.

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  7. That’s actually quite fun to do.

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