Ask Hulk

Hi Hulk. My name's Timmy the Toddler and I've an issue I'm hoping you can help me with. See, I like cookies. Hell, I could bloody well eat cookies, like, 24/7 for all eternity. However, my mother, being the anal-retentive controlling person she is, insists that eating nothing but cookies would be very detrimental to my health. Quite frankly, I don't care what she thinks, I still want the friggin' cookies. Do you have any suggestions on how I can convince my mother to relax her sphincter on this issue and let me eat nothing but cookies? Thanks for all you and the other Avengers do to keep me safe from monsters, Timmy The Toddler

Hi Hulk.  My name’s Timmy the Toddler and I’ve an issue I’m hoping you can help me with.  See, I like cookies.  Hell, I could bloody well eat cookies, like, 24/7 for all eternity.  However, my mother, being the anal-retentive controlling person she is, insists that eating nothing but cookies would be very detrimental to my health. Quite frankly, I don’t care what she thinks, I still want the friggin’ cookies.  Do you have any suggestions on how I can convince my mother to relax her sphincter on this issue and let me eat nothing but cookies?    Thanks for all you and the other Avengers do to keep me safe from monsters, Timmy The Toddler

 

Dear Timmy the Toddler, thanks for your question. Believe it or not, I get asked this question dozens of time a week. And here's the answer I always give: ARE YOU NUTS?! Do you have ANY idea what a diet consisting only of cookies would do to you?! You'd quickly become very obese, and most likely die before your tenth birthday. Is THAT what you want?! Your mother is a wise lady who has your best interest at heart. Listen to her, respect her, and for god's sake, DO NOT ATTEMPT TO LIVE ONLY ON COOKIES OR HULK WILL SMASH!!! Hope this helps. Yours in good health, Hulk

Dear Timmy the Toddler, thanks for your question.  Believe it or not, I get asked this question dozens of time a week.  And here’s the answer I always give: ARE YOU NUTS?!  Do you have ANY idea what a diet consisting only of cookies would do to you?!  You’d quickly become very obese, and most likely die before your tenth birthday.  Is THAT what you want?!  Your mother is a wise lady who has your best interest at heart.  Listen to her, respect her, and for god’s sake, DO NOT ATTEMPT TO LIVE ONLY ON COOKIES OR HULK WILL SMASH!!!    Hope this helps. Yours in good health, Hulk

 

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12 thoughts on “Ask Hulk

  1. How did the Hulk get the Bulk? Cookies, of course.
    Bloody hypocrite. Sheesh!

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  2. You should start a health column

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  3. ‘Round here they call me the cookie monster. I love my cookies. Sugar and bad health be damned!

    Do not let me catch anyone eating the last of my damn cookies! I can go Hulk Smash!

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  4. I’m partial to apple fritters too, but Hulk is correct. Mass quantities of sugar are not good for anyone regardless of the retentiveness of their respective anuses. Though, I’m surprised by such wisdom from Hulk. He’s usually too excitable for reasoned thinking. The Thing perhaps, but not from Hulk.

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  5. I would advise MR. Hulk ( from a distance of course ) that yes a diet of just cookies is not the greatest. It should also have sugared cereals, icing covered apple pies, chocolates of any size and shape ( maybe not with nuts ) and of course Ice cream. They make so many of these things today they MUST be healthy and good for you. Cookie Dough Ice cream has both healthy foods. Hey Hulk is rather large himself, why is he rifting on the larger. Oh I forgot to add the much touted nutritional aspects of donuts. I feel sorry for Timmy as I have this same argument with Ron, who seems to think keeping my blood sugar in a reasonable range is more important than chocolate covered donuts or those apple pies drenched in icing you can get at the store. Hey it must be good for you if they can sell it in a grocery store. Oh please don’t send this to Mr. Hulk, I would rather not be smashed.. at least that way. LOL 🙂 Hugs

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