Hi folks, Aqualad here. I’m Aquaman’s 18-year-old sidekick, and I help him protect the salty brine from thoughtless surface dwellers who pollute it with garbage and pee. To help me do this better, Aquaman has given me a spiffy new costume that consists of a red shirt and a groin-hugging pair of blue shorts that show off my hairless, boyish legs extremely well. As an added bonus, my super costume has a lovely “A” for a belt buckle. This signifies I’m Aquaman’s top rated partner and an ace at keeping people from peeing in otherwise clean waters. I gotta…I was gonna say run, but since I’m 50 fathoms deep, I can’t technically run, so, I’ll say swim. See you later folks, and remember, keep your trash, and your pee, outta the water.
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
Oh I so wanted to “like” this however my emotions are very raw right now… I wrote a huge comment full of hurt and upset. Then realized I was doing nothing but voicing my own anger, so I deleted it all. Your grand satirical blog doesn’t need my asshole comments., I love reading your work.. may I ask a request of you.. please post of the new announcement of the Vatican that bishops are NOT to report about priests who diddle kids. I would love your take on this as you are a master of seeing through the bull fecal matter. I was a dithering idiot on hear this new stance of that church. What the heck, these guys are to be leaders of men, and yet they officially say, ” we don’t have any responsibility to report children being raped by our people, and we will do all we can to block anyone from prosecuting it”. “we don’t mind that people know we do it and condone it, we don’t want any one of ours to go to jail for it… Dang I did it again, I just an not worthy at this point on commenting on your blog, four times I have re-written my comment. Please feel free to delete this as I am not sure it is something that should be on our blog. Hugs and loves. Sad today. Hugs
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I’m not going to delete your comment. However, this satirical post has nothing whatsoever to do with asshole rapist priests fucking children. I’ve done several posts on the sick fucks in the Catholic Church who rape, and condone the rape, of children. This is not that post. It’s a silly comment on the powerful homosexual undertones inherent in many of our superhero stories. No one’s being raped or accused of rape in this post. It’s a first person account of a very confident Aqualad, who’s probably gay, doing his job of superhero-ing. I’m completely sensitive to what you’re saying, my friend, but as a victim of horrid abuse myself, I must say, not everything is about that. This isn’t. The Catholic Church is a disgusting group of fuck-holes who need to burn in hell for their behavior, but Aqualad is simply a very gay teen superhero trying to keep the oceans clean of trash and pee. 😀 $Amen$
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My apologies… I let my own narrow view of things distort your grand post. Aqualad is grand in that he know who he is and allowed to be that way with out repression. Thank you for reminding me that not everything needs to be seen through dark glasses, and some times light can shine in. It is a needed lesson sometimes. Hugs
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No worries. Just don’t pee in the ocean or you’ll piss off Aqualad. 🙂
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LOL.. how do you do it, separate it all.. right now I am wallowing in a sea of unwanted memories and it is coloring everything I do…I started shouting at Ron last night for simply opening the bedroom door… he was stunned but I couldn’t calm down.. it was over 20 minutes till I could get my self under control… How do you do it… I need to find a peace , a place of calm again.. these shots I take screw that peace up badly, too many steroids and I want to fight everyone.. even the old demons long gone.. sorry again for misunderstanding your post. best wishes and hugs Scottie
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thank you… keep crying and can’t stop.. Must regain control. I am sorry for what you went through, must find a way to deal with my own past. Hugs and goodbye for tonight as the thing I need to do is walk away.. as far as I can from the past.. Hugs
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Impossible to do. I can no more walk away from the past as a man who lost his leg in war can “walk” away from that. Life for us, Scottie, is a limp. We need to learn to walk with our pain and not hate ourselves because it cripples us. I can’t do that. But, maybe, one day, I’ll get close. I hope the same for you.
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Thank you, but today I can not do anything but remember and cry.. ON other days I am stronger. I think you are stronger than I …. But what ever, I am shutting down the computers, taking a bunch of hankies and going to bed and let my self cry to seep. It seems the only way out of this. I can’t deal with the thoughts in my head, the memories… but you know what that is like.. So for now my only grace is if I can sleep.. and not have nightmares… I have taken the pills the doctors gave me, it should knock me out… I hope… Sorry my friend you did not need this, did not need to deal with this.. I am sorry. Loves and hugs, be safe and well.
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Sleep well.
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just imagine orcs and others sea creatures comping to protect him.. Makes my heart sing with joy. Hugs
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Absolutely. 🙂
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I guess my first thought was that the lad would be great prey for those that wanted children and it brought out a bad side of me… Sorry…
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Naw. Aqualad can control the oceans and all the life within them. Try to rape him, and he’ll fuck you up bad!
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I like that… I really do, a boy with power …. Hugs
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Oh, indeed. Aqualad, like Robin, are young men who can whip ass if needed. 🙂
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And trash especially
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Absolutely.
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Aquaman and his sexually dubious sidekick Aquasquirt, err I mean Aqualad, possess the telepathic ability to communicate with marine life as well as the superhuman ability to live in a deep ocean environment. Piss these two superheroes off and they’ll likely send a pack of orcas or great white sharks after your ass. Not good, unless you’re standing on land of course.
As vulnerable as we are in water, this Aqua-couple is as vulnerable out of water. They dehydrate easily, and they can summon no help from their fishy friends. So, fellow humans, here’s some sage advice:
Don’t go into the water, it’s not safe! Throw your trash and pee on Republicans… they really like it!
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Great advice. Can’t wait to see Jason Mamoa’s Aquaman in Justice League.
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