Abraham: Best Damn Father EVER!
Sacrifice City, California. Is your baby holding back your social life? Do you need a break from all those “parental” responsibilities that are simply wearing you the fuck out? Well, then we’ve got just the thing for you. Abraham’s Baby Sitting Service. Abraham, yes, THAT Abraham, has returned to Earth to offer his services as a babysitter, for the nominal fee of $65.95 per hour, to parents who need a good ole fashioned break from, well, parenting. Who better to leave your child with than the decrepit old fart who almost killed his son because “God” told him to? How many babysitters do you know who can even claim to have spoken to God at all, eh? None that we can think of, that’s for sure. So, if you feel it’s time for a break from your child, simply leave him in the hands of the guy God spoke to and said: “STOP! Don’t cut your boy’s throat. I was just fuckin’ with ya!” Book an appointment to have Abe watch your child today at http://www.godtalks2abe.com, and receive, absolutely free, a shiny new, solid silver, steak-carving knife. Oh, and remember, tell Abe the Pontificator sent ya’.
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
Pingback: 20160130-2358-Link – The Daily Pause
Again, I laughed and shuddered an equal amount (I’ve always, ALWAYS despised that Bible story, more than any other)
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Yep. Yet christians hold it up as the divine word of god. Idjits.
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You are so grand and well read, By the time I get to your comment section there are so many other people who have said all there is to say I can’t add anything. It must give you warm fuzzes and a real espresso morning . Hugs and best wishes.
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Thanks, my friend. 🙂
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I wish I knew how you do it.. I rarely get comments… You get tons… must be you have a more compelling personality than I do… Of course you are “divine” . Thanks for what you write, I love reading it and responding. Hugs
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Comments? I get some, but very few compared to others.
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Ya but compared to me… you are a semi truck to my Prius….hugs
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Yeah, my ass is pretty fat. 🙂
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Nanny McFee, eat your heart out…right after Abe cut it out of your body of course. You’re edgier than ever!
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And that’s just my haircut. 🙂
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Thank goodness my kids are grown!
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Yes indeed.
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Ha. You have a way to make my days. Who would have thought of that?
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Clearly not the writers of the bible, eh?
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The bible authors manage to help me sleep without effort
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They give me nightmares.
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That link’s throat is cut – it figures.
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Darn. Webpage not available.
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Damn biblical characters. Ya can’t trust ’em.
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Do they do Maltese dogs too?
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Sorry, Abe’s allergic to dogs. 🙂
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Looks like the feds may have arrested ole Abe on child endangerment. His website has been shut down. Unless you’re a Christian, you can’t get away with child abuse today.
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I know, right? Every time you put “www.” in front of a fake link like this one, it reads as a real one. One day I’m sure one of my silly ones will actually be real. Yikes!
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OK, I started laughing at the title, and didn’t stop.
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I was inspired to write this from a video Victoria posted on Kia’s blog. Thanks Victoria. 😀
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Anytime my friend. 😀
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lmfao
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😀
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