Abraham’s Babysitting Service

Abraham: Best Damn Father EVER!

Abraham: Best Damn Father EVER!

Sacrifice City, California.   Is your baby holding back your social life?  Do you need a break from all those “parental” responsibilities that are simply wearing you the fuck out?  Well, then we’ve got just the thing for you.  Abraham’s Baby Sitting Service.  Abraham, yes, THAT Abraham, has returned to Earth to offer his services as a babysitter, for the nominal fee of $65.95 per hour, to parents who need a good ole fashioned break from, well, parenting.  Who better to leave your child with than the decrepit old fart who almost killed his son because “God” told him to?   How many babysitters do you know who can even claim to have spoken to God at all, eh?  None that we can think of, that’s for sure.  So, if you feel it’s time for a break from your child, simply leave him in the hands of the guy God spoke to and said: “STOP!  Don’t cut your boy’s throat.  I was just fuckin’ with ya!”  Book an appointment to have Abe watch your child today at http://www.godtalks2abe.com, and receive, absolutely free,  a shiny new, solid silver, steak-carving knife.  Oh, and remember, tell Abe the Pontificator sent ya’.

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29 thoughts on “Abraham’s Babysitting Service

  1. Pingback: 20160130-2358-Link – The Daily Pause

  2. Again, I laughed and shuddered an equal amount (I’ve always, ALWAYS despised that Bible story, more than any other)

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  3. You are so grand and well read, By the time I get to your comment section there are so many other people who have said all there is to say I can’t add anything. It must give you warm fuzzes and a real espresso morning . Hugs and best wishes.

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  4. Nanny McFee, eat your heart out…right after Abe cut it out of your body of course. You’re edgier than ever!

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  5. Thank goodness my kids are grown!

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  6. Ha. You have a way to make my days. Who would have thought of that?

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  7. That link’s throat is cut – it figures.

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  8. Darn. Webpage not available.

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  9. Do they do Maltese dogs too?

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  10. Looks like the feds may have arrested ole Abe on child endangerment. His website has been shut down. Unless you’re a Christian, you can’t get away with child abuse today.

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  11. OK, I started laughing at the title, and didn’t stop.

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