Arm Chair Pontificator’s 2015 Statistical Highlights

Statistics Of A Pontificator

A Cool Statistical Graph Of Indeterminate Significance

Here are a few memorable statistics from 2015 for The Arm Chair Pontificator.

1.) The Arm Chair Pontificator gained over 2 billion subscribers in 2015.

2.) Martin Scorsese and Francis Ford Coppola both were quoted on several occasions saying The Arm Chair Pontificator makes their movies better and life more meaningful to them overall.

3.) 480,000 paranoid schizophrenics claimed that I, The Arm Chair Pontificator, am so incredibly talented and funny that I simply MUST be an alien from an advanced civilization come to take over the Earth.

4.) Each member of The Nobel Prize Committee was prank called over 65,000 times by fans of this site for refusing to give me my goddamned, hard-earned Nobel Prize for overall genius in everything I say, do and think.ย  BASTARDS!

5.) And, lastly, over 65 million senior citizens throughout the world have called me a “know-it-all, liberal, son of a bitch” at least 2 times this past year whilst drinking prune juice mixed with Metamucil.

Thanks to everyone who reads my wacky shit throughout the year.ย  I hope you all have a great New Year!ย  $Amen$

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31 thoughts on “Arm Chair Pontificator’s 2015 Statistical Highlights

  1. Pingback: 20151230-2329-Link – The Daily Pause

  2. I skip the Metamucil and head straight to the RUM !! You know I have to complement you on how brave you are. So many Idiots out there, trolls even, think you are telling the truth and can’t see the genius of your satire, your work is so special and I admire you. Not just for your bravery at facing the socially and mentally handicapped who attack you, but for the way you hold nothing back and everything is game for the saber of your wit, nothing can escape the prick of your foil, the taking down of your humor. Even the gods Thor and others are in awe of you and drop in to curry your favor. Even if they don’t bring any of their own beer. You have given me much enjoyment over the last year and I hope you will continue your style for a long time to come. Sober or not, no one can compare to your style. Throw a few on the Bar-B-Que for me and down a fresh one in my name. Hugs and thanks for the joy. The world needs more like you.

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  3. thank-you for all the laughs:happy new year and $amen!

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  4. I’m a senior citizen but I always mix my Metamucil with a shot of vodka, or bourbon, or rum, or tequila, or …. whatever bottle I grab first (sometimes I can’t see too well so I just go by feel).

    Happy 2016!

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  5. Just what is your secret? If it is roasting x-ian babies count me in!

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  6. Awesome stats!! Happy new year!

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  7. Pingback: 20151230-2329-Link | The Blogging Path

  8. Have a great new year friend

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  9. And you end this year in your usual brilliant satirical and hilarious fashion. Thank you for being you, and by you I mean totally awesome ๐Ÿ˜€

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  10. Here’s a fact: You were my #1 top commenter in 2015.

    Thank you my friend, and Happy New Year. โค

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  11. Congratulations on 2 billion subscribers, I unfortunately only have 1.5 billion ๐Ÿ˜‰ Happy New Year my friend;)

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  12. You mean that you’re NOT an alien? Ha, ha! Happy New Years, my friend!

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  13. You too, my friend. Hope you’re missing much of the bad weather up that way. Keep dry and warm.

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