12.19.15
by

Things I’d Do If I Could Use The Force

In honor of the new Star Wars movie, The Force Awakens, opening yesterday, I’ve made the following list of things I’d do with the Force if I were able to use it.

1.)

Whenever Donald Trump tried to speak in public, I'd Force lift his hair so it stood on end until he shut up.

Whenever Donald Trump tried to speak in public, I’d Force lift his hair so it stood on end until he shut up.

 

2.)

I'd use the Force to levitate bottles of beer into the waiting hands of beautiful babes in bars to get them to notice me.

I’d use the Force to levitate bottles of beer into the waiting hands of beautiful babes in bars to get their attention.

 

3.)

I'd use the Force to make cash machines give me free money.

I’d use the Force to make cash machines give me free money.

 

4.)

I'd use the Force to place, and permanently hold, handcuffs on the hands of pedophile priests so they can't so easily ply their trade.

I’d use the Force to place, and permanently hold, handcuffs on the hands of pedophile priests so they could no longer practice their trade.

 

5.)

Lastly, I'd use the Force to levitate my dog so I can cut here damn nails. What a battle this always is.

Lastly, I’d use the Force to levitate my dog so I could cut her damn nails. What a battle this always is.

23 thoughts on “Things I’d Do If I Could Use The Force”

  2. I love the idea of using the force to get one of my cats to eat a very small pill that despite all we have tried, favorite foods, crushed up in stuff, even tried to force it down his throat, which he got the better of three fully grown humans. However I am not sure about Number four. Would handcuffs alone solve that problem, or should something else be cuffed or locked up? Thanks and hugs

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  3. Absolutely LOVE that picture of tRump!

    BTW, couldn’t you just have the Force take him away to Siberia or some other far-away place where he would never be seen or heard from again?

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  4. Would you also use the Force to put that, “I smell a fart,” look on Trump’s face? That would be bonus.

    Yep, I like the trim a dog’s nails idea. Though mine stay pretty worn down from walks on the asphalt.

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  5. All good things. You should get the force

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  6. #1, definitely. That would be so cool!

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  7. Was just saying we have to cut our dogs nails… Like something from Jurassic Park.

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