Here are some celebrity reviews of The Bible I recently found in The New York Times.
1.) This book is AWESOME. There’s killing for the Lord, genocide in his name, infanticide, glorification of slavery, and enough misogynistic rhetoric to make any man with a small dick feel strong. I highly recommend reading it and using it to guide your life. Donald Trump
2.) This book sucks. It’s completely unbelievable. There’s a part where a “virgin” gets pregnant, tells her husband, “God did it,” and he believes her. Yeah. Right. Blow me. Pope Francis
3.) This book has gore, violence, and horror in it. I’ve never read a piece of literature filled with such a lust for blood. It needs to be BANNED from our schools and homes. It’s anti-American. Wait…I was thinking of The Koran. The Bible is not like that at all. Never mind. Sarah Palin
4.) Brilliant book on truth, science, and reality. I never knew the Earth was only 6000 years old until I read this gem of intellectual wisdom. Republican Presidential Candidate, Ben Carson.
5.) I LOVED this book. It has sex in it. Former President, Bill Clinton.