Here are some celebrity reviews of The Bible I recently found in The New York Times.
1.) This book is AWESOME. There’s killing for the Lord, genocide in his name, infanticide, glorification of slavery, and enough misogynistic rhetoric to make any man with a small dick feel strong. I highly recommend reading it and using it to guide your life. Donald Trump
2.) This book sucks. It’s completely unbelievable. There’s a part where a “virgin” gets pregnant, tells her husband, “God did it,” and he believes her. Yeah. Right. Blow me. Pope Francis
3.) This book has gore, violence, and horror in it. I’ve never read a piece of literature filled with such a lust for blood. It needs to be BANNED from our schools and homes. It’s anti-American. Wait…I was thinking of The Koran. The Bible is not like that at all. Never mind. Sarah Palin
4.) Brilliant book on truth, science, and reality. I never knew the Earth was only 6000 years old until I read this gem of intellectual wisdom. Republican Presidential Candidate, Ben Carson.
5.) I LOVED this book. It has sex in it. Former President, Bill Clinton.
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
Found in the “New York Times”! This is awesome! 😀
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Wow. Thanks so much for all the “likes” and comments. 🙂
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No, thank you for the laughs before bed. I’m sure you’re the reason I slept like a baby 😂
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Yep. I’m like a glass of warm milk with a Xanax dissolved in it. For some reason, that line never seems to work for me with women in bars. Oh, well. I’ll have to come up with a better one for 2016. 🙂
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Why on earth would that not work? Milk and Xanax sounds like an awesome combination to me 😉
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Yeah. They do. Xanax: the whole world could be burning, and you’ll be too relaxed to care.
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Hahahaha
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Don’t like it. There’s nothing about suicide bombers or virgins in Paradise. It also ignore the gun issue.
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Good points.
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Ugh! Trump, Palin, Carson, and the dopey popey all in one post. I have to go bleach my brain now.
But otherwise brilliant 🙂
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Thanks, my friend.
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Do keep that eloquent pen working on Trump…for the sake of the USA you and your chums must pile on the pressure.
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I’m not being facetious when I say he is a mirror image of Hitler. I want him to win the Republican nomination. He’ll get destroyed by Hilary Clinton in the general election, and the Republicans will be left to clean up the damage they did to themselves by not shutting this asshole down sooner. Some of them are now saying things against him, but, like Hitler, he’s gained a lot of fanatical disciples and they’re too late, I’m afraid.
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Great comments by John and Victoria, but I couldn’t reply to them for some reason. The comment editor might be screwed up again or I’m having browser issues. “Helping the Retarded to Know God” – awesome!
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I was having issues earlier too. WP again. Try going to the actual site. That might work.
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You’ve just reminded me, I have compiled reviews for Helping the Retarded to Know God, but haven’t gotten around to posting them.
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Seriously? Or are you Poe’s Law-ing me? I hope you’re serious because, if you are, I MUST read those reviews!
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What i lie to you? Here are the first three… Some a true gems
By Pen Name on July 12, 2014: I bought this book and used it to explain to my daughter, whom I call ‘mittens’, why she is likely to go to hell. She drooled a lot but I think it really sunk in, because she immediately stopped masturbating our trips to Wal-Mart. That was always embarrassing, but now she has the lord.
By Jb Fox on January 18, 2015: There is already a book that helps the retarded know God. It’s called the bible.
By BillEAV on December 16, 2014: It was hard for Jimmy to look at kids with hearts on the inside of their body’s and normally formed lips, but this book helped him understand gods plan. His short painful life will soon be over and he’ll be rewarded in heaven, just like a serial killer who coverts at the last minute
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Fuckin’ brilliant! Love it. My kinda writing.
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Please post them John. They should be some entertaining material
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I will gladly help plate tectonics. Anyway, Billy Clinton’s review is hardly surprising, isn’t?
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It sure isn’t. Oh, Bill, what are we gonna do with you? I actually love that guy.
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LOL — Carson and Trump were spot on, although Trump has never cracked open a bible in his life. 😀
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Trump has used the Bible to crack some Hispanic and Middle Eastern people’s heads though I’ll bet.
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Is it just me, or do Trump and his minions not resemble Hitler and his?
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It was only a matter of time once the predominately religious SCOTUS got in bed with corporations.
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Sieg Heil!
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Gott Mit Un!
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Got Kit-ten!
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😀
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