11.09.15
by

President Obama Loses Car Keys; Cries

"Those were my favorite, bestest set of car keys EVER," President Obama said after losing the keys to his 1987 Volkswagen Bug earlier today.

President Obama Cries After Announcing To The Press He’s Lost The Keys To His Volkswagen Bug

White House Garage, Washington D.C.   A tearful President Obama announced today he was devastated because he lost the keys to his ’87 Volkswagen Bug over the weekend.   “Those keys were special to me because they were on a key chain Vladimir Putin gave me after I drank his ass under the table the last time I visited Moscow,” the President said.   “It had a little plastic statue of Putin on it that I rubbed for good luck every time I made a military decision.  WTF am I going to do now?  What?!  I’m sorry, I simply must go lie down and cry for a while.  Please forgive me.”   Let’s hope the President finds his keys and his key chain soon, eh?  World peace may very well depend on it.

7 thoughts on “President Obama Loses Car Keys; Cries”

  1. Well now we know what the secret service has been up too instead of protecting the white house and the people in it. You have a news break through that many missed. A wonderful coup. You are a very daring person though as now that it is out our own government may target you. Check your computers carefully. May the farce be with you. Hugs

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  2. Why would he rub the little statue? What happens to it when it gets rubbed? Mind boggling. Has BO also lost some marbles?

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  3. This is a national security issue

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