Top Ten Reasons I Was Kicked Out Of The Jedi Order

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10.) Continually used my light sabre as a flash light even though I was repeatedly warned of how dangerous it was.

09.) Put pink lights in all the light sabres making the Jedi appear “gay” during battles.

08.) Used the Force to open beer cans to impress babes.

07.) Used the Force to lift the skirts of hot chicks as they walked by me.

06.) Shaved off Obi Wan’s eyebrows after he passed out during a drinking binge.

05.) Used Jedi mind tricks to get free coffee and donuts from 7/11.

04.) Used the Force to levitate my 87-year-old neighbor’s cat causing her to have a mild stroke.

03.) Used my light sabre to cut a man’s car into pieces after he cut me off on the express way.

02.) Used Luke Skywalker’s credit card to purchase 6000 dollars worth of electronics equipment on Amazon.com.

01.) And the number one reason why I was kicked out of the Jedi Order…..I put Ben Gay in Yoda’s jock strap as a Halloween prank.

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15 thoughts on “Top Ten Reasons I Was Kicked Out Of The Jedi Order

  1. 9, 4 and 1 πŸ˜€

  2. I use to use the force to pull down the pants of other boys my age and older.. That stopped when I realized I was only helping them get more dates than I was getting. Look in a place where people can both read your emotions and alter your own actions, well my little light saber did not measure up. However I was a hit in the boys on the bottom club. πŸ™‚ I did hear about your activities while I was a student, I think you were a few years ahead of me. BTW, he still has trouble not scratching down there? It is just a real bad idea to laugh at it. You can lose more than your pants. Hugs

  3. I think you got what you deserved lo

  4. Wish I could’ve done all that cool stuff even if just for a while!

  5. What?! They did’t kick you out for outing Cap’n Kirk and Dr Spock? What is the Universe coming to?

  6. Pink sabers… Now we’re talking!

  7. O M Google – you NUT!!! I was eating when I read that. . . skittles make a terrible mess on the computer screen . . .

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