10.) Continually used my light sabre as a flash light even though I was repeatedly warned of how dangerous it was.
09.) Put pink lights in all the light sabres making the Jedi appear “gay” during battles.
08.) Used the Force to open beer cans to impress babes.
07.) Used the Force to lift the skirts of hot chicks as they walked by me.
06.) Shaved off Obi Wan’s eyebrows after he passed out during a drinking binge.
05.) Used Jedi mind tricks to get free coffee and donuts from 7/11.
04.) Used the Force to levitate my 87-year-old neighbor’s cat causing her to have a mild stroke.
03.) Used my light sabre to cut a man’s car into pieces after he cut me off on the express way.
02.) Used Luke Skywalker’s credit card to purchase 6000 dollars worth of electronics equipment on Amazon.com.
01.) And the number one reason why I was kicked out of the Jedi Order…..I put Ben Gay in Yoda’s jock strap as a Halloween prank.