Things Pumpkins Would Say

You know why I'm smiling? I'm smiling because some sadistic bastard cut open the top of my head, gored out my innards, and CARVED this big-ass grin into my face! I may look happy, but believe me, I sure ain't. I'm in AGONY!

You know why I’m smiling? I’m smiling because some sadistic bastard cut open the top of my head, gored out my innards, and CARVED this big-ass grin into my face! I may look happy, but believe me, I sure ain’t. I’m in AGONY!

 

I was a perfectly happy pumpkin living my life in a pumpkin patch until some asshole took me home and carved me into this replica of Dick Cheney. I've now got to live the remainder of my days looking like this vile prick. I fuckin' HATE Halloween. Really, I do.

I was a perfectly happy pumpkin living my life in a pumpkin patch until some asshole took me home and carved me into this replica of Dick Cheney. I’ve now got to live the remainder of my days looking like this vile prick. I fuckin’ HATE Halloween. Really, I do.

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8 thoughts on “Things Pumpkins Would Say

  1. Wow, what braveness using his most badness dick’s face. However isn’t it illegal to use his pure evilness trademarked hell fire created features, or his burning coal many replaced heart? I am glad you put it on your blog with all the viewer protections as I would be afraid my computer would throw up if I tried to post his most grotesqueness, and I would only find bits and smoldering pieces. I am not sure what good wizards came to rescue us and drive “he who is the torturer in chief” from our tainted white house, but I thank them and will demand we change to their brand of English as soon as we can figure out where the schools are. 🙂 Thanks and hugs

  2. Ah, I do love your Dick Cheney references. Almost as much as your Trump references!

  3. “Why so serious?”

  4. I hate it too, along with Thanksgiving, Christmas, 4th of july etc. etc. etc. Have a good non-holiday and Aloha – pjs/

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