Our resident Fundamentalist Christian comic, Frankie Analtight, dropped by the Pontificator office today with some new jokes he’s been working on for his act. Here are a few of them for your perusal.
1.) How many Christians does it take to turn on a light? None. Only Jesus can turn on light.
2.) Why are some people very poor? Because they are lazy.
3.) How many doctors does it take to heal a broken leg? None. Only prayer can heal a broken limb.
4.) Why did Judas betray Jesus? Because he was a bad man.
5.) Why are there people in the world who are not Christians? Because they’re using their freewill to deny reality.
6.) Why are atheists so evil? Because they are the children of Satan.
7.) Why are some people disabled? Because they were bad and God’s punishing them for it.
8.) Why did the Jews kill Christ? See the answer to number 6.
9.) What did Jesus say to the gay couple when he saw them kiss? I hate you.
10.) Why is President Obama such a horrible person? Because he is a devout Muslim and an atheist.
Number 10 is my fav!
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Sadly, I’ve actually heard right-wing nutters actually say those words. Nuts.
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I know! I heard this too and it’s just ridiculously funny and sad at the same time :S
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🙂
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This Frankie Analtight seems a lot like the people who live here. is he from the south by chance?
A devout Muslim atheist. Now I see it! Of course! How many people are this stupid? Too damn many.
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I believe he is from your neck of the woods.
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Why are Cristians bad at math? Because 1+1+1=1
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Good one.
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#10. He is also Kenyan
And I like #5
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Best Fundie Christian comic working today.
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Based on #2 , #9 and #10, I think Frankie must also be a teabagger.
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Indeed he is. He’s been tea bagged in more ways than one, I’m sure. 🙂
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I particularly like #5…cuz you know, atheists are most certainly the ones denying reality. We can’t even comprehend the objective, testable evidence of the risen christ. LMFAO!
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🙂
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