Today’s Message From Jesus

So, I go down to the bloody laundry room to do my laundry this morning and some bitch is down there using, not only all 5 machines, but all 5 dryers as well.  When I asked her how long she'd thought she'd be, she tells me, "None of yer fuckin' business asshole!"  Needless to say, that was not the answer I was looking for, so I turned the bitch into a newt and sent her laundry into the heart of the sun.  Regardless of what you all may have heard about me, I'm not a patient deity, nor am I always nice to people, especially not on laundry day.  I fuckin' HATE doin' laundry!

So, I go down to the bloody laundry room to do my laundry this morning and some bitch is down there using, not only all 5 washing machines, but all 5 dryers as well. When I asked her how long she’d thought she’d be, she tells me, “None of yer fuckin’ business asshole!” Needless to say, that was not the answer I was looking for, so I turned the bitch into a newt and sent her laundry into the heart of the sun. Regardless of what you all may have heard about me, I’m not a patient deity, nor am I always nice to people, especially not on laundry day. I fuckin’ HATE doin’ laundry!

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26 thoughts on “Today’s Message From Jesus

  1. Brilliant. You are such required reading, guaranteed a laugh every time.
    PS: he does look pretty pissed off!

  2. Here’s a little message from me! I posted about you on my Buffet this week! I hope you like my post! Thank you for being awesome!!

  3. Tell jesus to get someone to do his laundry

  4. Cleanliness is next to godliness.

  5. LOL! Still laughing! Thank you, I needed a good laugh! Have a great Sunday.

    Pepperanne

  6. I’d like to see this dude fix a slow moving supermart queue! I’d become an instant convert!

  7. It’s nice to know Big J has some human qualities. I actually think I share some of his sentiment. Wish I had that newt spell. Those critters would be crawling around everywhere. πŸ™‚

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