Jobs I’ve Lost And Why I Lost ‘Em

Before I was hired a by WordPress a few years ago to write and edit this blog, which now close to 3 people a month read, I had many other jobs that I greatly enjoyed until I was fired from them.ย  Here are few of them along with the reasons I was fired from them.

1.)

I got released from my decades long contract as a porn super-stud because, even though my acting was top notch, I'm pathologically shy and refused to do nude scenes in movies.

I got released from a decades long contract as a super-stud porn star because, even though my acting was always top-notch, I’m pathologically shy and refused to do nude scenes in the movies I made.

 

2.)

I lost my job as leader of this Mexican Drug Cartel because I've never once been to Mexico; I can't speak Spanish, and I'm not even a tiny bit Mexican.

I lost my job as leader of this Mexican Drug Cartel because I’ve never once been to Mexico; I can’t speak Spanish, and I’m not even a tiny bit Mexican.

 

3.)

I was fired from my job as an elite hit man for the Mafia because I'm a pacifist who abhors violence, and I wept like a baby every time I was asked to whack someone.

I was fired from my job as an elite hit man for the Mafia because I’m a pacifist who abhors violence, and I’d weep like a baby every time I was asked to whack someone.

 

4.)

I was abruptly fired from my job as Head Ballet Instructor at Julliard when, after ten years on the job, they discovered I have two left feet and don't know a goddamn thing about ballet, or any other type of dance for that matter.

I was abruptly fired from my job as Head Ballet Instructor at Julliard when, after ten years on the job, they discovered I have two left feet and don’t know a goddamn thing about ballet, or any other type of dance for that matter.

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30 thoughts on “Jobs I’ve Lost And Why I Lost ‘Em

  1. Let’s hope Trump doesn’t get elected. We will all get fired. Perhaps fired upon.

  2. Hey, who wants to work anyway? You should be thankful you got fired. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  3. what is great is that you were hired at all. How did you hoodwink them to employ you? There was no due diligence on their part I guess

  4. I hope you don’t get fired from your current vocation: Sticking virtual pins into poor Christians.

  5. Awww, you finally found your niche, a place where you are appreciated by at least 3 of us. Hope you have a happy Labor Day holiday.

  6. I don’t believe #4; how could they be so blind to your natural talent?!

  7. Chin up, I failed at being a virgin sacrifice

  8. Look at the bright side: you didn’t loose multiple jobs, you found another and another and another and…

  9. Don’t despair. Those jobs were just stepping stones to arriving here as the editor of this blog. Your skill sets are evident in the content you post. ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. I’m actually crying over here

  11. Well, you had a damned good reason for being fired, me I was fired for being lazy which was totally unfair since laziness is natural. – Have good weekend and Aloha – pjs/

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