If Ice Cubes Were Sentient

1.)

Is it cold in here, or is it just me?

Is it cold in here, or is it just me?

 

2.)

I figured it was a good time to take up smokin'. The sun will melt me outta existence long before I ever die from cancer,

So I figured it was a good time to take up smokin’ cause the sun’ll melt me outta existence long before I could ever die from cancer.

 

3.)

 Yer so hot, baby, yer makin' me melt.

Yer so hot, baby, yer literally makin’ me melt.

 

4.)

OK! OK! Just put me back in the ice box so I don't melt, and I'll pay you the ten dollars I owe you.

OK! OK! Just put me back in the ice box so I don’t melt, and I’ll pay you the ten dollars I owe you.

 

5.)

She yelled out, "You're a cold, heartless bastard," and tossed him out a window 12 stories up. This is all that's left of him, the poor thing.

She yelled out, “You’re a cold, heartless bastard,” and tossed him out a window 12 stories up.  This is all that’s left of him, the poor thing.

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16 thoughts on “If Ice Cubes Were Sentient

  1. All of the above.

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  2. The ice cube would look around his ice cube tray and see everything was made just for him.

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  3. But he lived on and became a happy, healthy puddle

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  4. Cheers for that! With the wife wrapping me in ice three times a day presently that’s all I needed!

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