The Atheist Fart Ball: Guaranteed To Fuck Up Christmas For Christians Every Time It’s Used
Smellville, South Dakota. Are you an atheist who fights against Christians and Christmas every holiday season? Are you looking for a new, fun way to ruin Christmas for pesky, persecuted Christians this year? Well then, we’ve got just the thing for you: The Atheist Fart Ball. The Atheist Fart Ball is an oblong, nasty-looking ball of compressed methane gas that, once exposed to Christians at Christmas time, safely releases its stinky gas into the air around them. Toss one into a restaurant during a big Christmas office party and watch in hilarity as Christians flee the scene to escape the smell. Toss one into a church during Christmas Eve mass, and enjoy even more hilarity as Christians trip over one another trying to get outside for fresh air. The Atheist Fart Ball is a fun way for every member of the atheist household to enjoy “warring” on Christmas, and Christians, this holiday season. So, stock up on Atheist Fart Balls now, at $17.99 each, before they’re all sold out. You don’t want to be without a few of these babies come Christmas time.
(Manufacturers note: The Atheist Fart Ball will not work on, nor was it designed to work on, Jews, Hindus, Muslims, Agnostics, Buddhists, or Wiccans.)
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
Hahaha I WANT ONE!
Love the manufacturer’s note at the end, I imagine it being read reeeally fast at the end of the TV commercial 😉
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I’ll send you some for free. We can never be too soft on the War on Christmas. 😀
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Fucking A! 😀
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$Amen$
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I am wondering, for such a volume business, as this will surly be in great demand, where do you get a large enough constant supply of the “ingredients of stinky stuff” . As sales will be booming ( and squeaking literally ) you must have a secret pipeline to maybe Donald Trumps toxic mouth ??? Or some other odorous source? Hugs and best wishes
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Got a few pipelines connected to NRA and GOP members houses across the nation. Never ending supply of toxic gas coming from those places.
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🙂 such a great idea. Love it
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Almost didn’t read this post because of the repulsive image at the top, which reminded me of Donald Trump pursing his lips. With post read, the Atheist Fart Ball looks adorable.
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That pic is disgusting, but (no pun intended) it’s just a potato with some fungus growing out of it. Gross it is though. And like you said, not as gross as Donald Trump. Lord, I hate that asshole (again, no pun intended). 🙂
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Aaah! But there is model filled with hydrogen sulfide which works on all the non christians – including AGNOSTICS – atheists are the only exempt species. But there is also an answer to this problem: fill the fart ball with bible tracts!
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We atheists get hit with those all the time.
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I shall lob one into the Popemobile methinks!
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Great idea.
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Are there discounts?
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Buy in bulk and get 15% off.
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I will be placing my orders soon
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Thanks. You can never be too well prepared to do war on Christmas and christians.
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Just what ive been looking for! All this fucking hooplah every damned year about the “war on x-mas” Now I can actually start one! Say can you get a deal if you order by the case?
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Absolutely. You get a 15% discount for every 25 Fart Balls ordered.
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I’ll take 50 to start. More as needed. The war has begun!
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Awesome. They’re on the way.
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Not Wiccans?!? Why not?
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Because, they’re not christians, silly.
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Ahh, well you’ll need a line for them. They mess up Veles’ forests
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They help fill the Fart Balls to help us non-believers carry out our violent, annual war on Christmas.
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