Today, TACP starts its latest advice column entitled, Ask The Mona Lisa, where the Mona Lisa herself answers questions from one of the four or five people who read this blog every week. Enjoy.
Dear Mona Lisa, I’d like some advice on asking out a really pretty girl I see every morning on the train on my way to work. I’ve been in love with her from afar for months now, but I’ve been too afraid to even approach her and ask her her name. What can I do to overcome this fear that’s inhibiting me from perhaps connecting with my life’s soul mate? Sincerely, Peter Puttin, A Mild Mannered Shoe Shine Boy
Dear Peter, grow a pair, will ya? What do you mean you’re ‘In love with her from afar’? Are you some kind of perverted stalker? You haven’t the testicular fortitude to even ask this young women her name, yet you’ve already determined she’s your soul mate? Jesus, kid. You don’t need advice from a painting. You need years of therapy to get over your ‘Mommy Issues’. Until that happens, stop coveting young women on the train. It’s fuckin’ creepy as shit.
Yours always, The Mona Lisa
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
Yes, grow a pair, dammit, Peter!
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The wimp.
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Phew, we’re back to the hilarious! I needed that after that video, it’s the kind of shit I find truly scary because it comes with simple, everyday, “nice” kinda faces, and then…URGH!
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$Amen$
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You sure should run a weekly advice column and charge for the advice you give. Proceeds to be sent to my vacation account
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Great idea.
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I am surprised that she did not advise him that he would be better to “take matters into his own hands” if he can’t even get the needed stiffening of his courage to ask the girls name. It would seem to me to ask this boy if he has a telescope in his room trained on his female neighbor’s windows. Then again, maybe he is far better being “one of the boys” in the dorm room, and so is having a hard time of a different nature? 🙂 Hugs
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$Amen$
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Dear Mona, I’ve always wondered about your grin in the painting. Were you feeling smug about knowing some secret information, or were you just trying to hide your bad teeth? Also, what sort of a bloke was Leonardo da Vinci? I had asked you that question face-to-face about 25 years ago in The Louvre, but you ignored me. That wasn’t very nice. – Bob
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I grin because I know everyone who sees my grin will wonder why it’s there. Well, that’s why. Leonardo was a nice bloke, but he ate too many onions and his breath reeked. Hard to get away from it, too, while he’s painting you up close.
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Where do you get these photos from? I’m still giggling.
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Google is my friend. 🙂
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That’s the kind of face you never want to see sit down next to you on a long haul flight 🙂
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I’d be kind of afraid if the Mona Lisa walked done the aisle and sat next to me too.
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