Study Shows 89% Of Americans Believe Canada Is In South America

89% Of Americans Believe Canada Is Located In South America

89% Of Americans Think Canada Is Part Of South America

Idjit Town, Illinois.    In news today that is, surprisingly, very believable, University of Chicago Political Science Professor, James Muthafker, released the results of a study he conducted over the past 78 years which proves, conclusively, that 89% of Americans believe Canada is located in South America.   “The ignorance of Americans, as it pertains to geography, is horrible,” Professor Muthafker said earlier.  “This study, which I conducted over the past 78 years, proves this.  I asked hundreds of thousands of Americans, over almost 8 decades, where Canada was.  89% of them said it was, without question, in South America.  Upon my telling them they were incorrect, and that Canada is, in fact, part of North America, 65% of those who gave the incorrect answer punched me in the face and cried out, How dare you claim America has someone in the North with it!  You fuckin’ anti-American dog!  Fuck you!   Needless to say, after 78 years of this treatment and multiple broken noses, I decided to end the study and announce my results to the world.  Now that I have, I’m going to retire to the South of France, which, ironically, IS in South America.”

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31 thoughts on “Study Shows 89% Of Americans Believe Canada Is In South America

  1. Pingback: 20150807-1409-Link – The Daily Pause

  2. Omg, someone working in New Hampshire actually told me that many of his co-workers didn’t know where Canada was! Like they didn’t notice the border up there… But then I also had a heck of a time trying to convince an AT&T customer service rep on the phone that Jamaica was NOT a part of the US. I still don’t think he believes me.

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  3. As a Canadian, I don’t know where the hell I am now.

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  4. This may be satire but if you released this piece in Europe, they would take it at face value as most people over here think that americans know nothing about geography. Now I can’t believe it’s quite as bad as that 😉

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  5. Truth is sometimes stranger than fiction. In this case I think we have a case of both! The slack jawed, dimwitted, majority I fear are really this bad. There should be some sort of idiot test to prevent those who have no means to understand the world around them from voting.

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  6. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised that this was the case

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  7. It won’t surprise if this would be actually true. After all I have understand that a majority of us citizens don’t know where Iraq or Afghanistan are.

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  8. In a real study, I’m not sure if the results would be any different.

    Americans’ belief, or lack thereof, in the Civil War resulting from slavery will be published on my blog tomorrow. Like this post, it’ll be quite revealing.

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  9. Pingback: 20150807-1409-Aside | The Blogging Path

  10. When I saw the heading, which was before I saw that you posted it — I thought to myself “no surprise there”. Like John said — very, very believable.

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  11. Damned idiots. Canada is a province of Heaven. It’s nowhere on Earth!

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  12. B’ahahahaha! Surprisingly, very, very believable 🙂

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