Meet Bigfoot’s Elusive Cousin, Bigbutt

The Only Photo Of Big Butt Known To Exist

The Only Photo Of Bigbutt Known To Exist

Sphincterville, Wisconsin.    Undoubtedly, if you are a true-blooded, God-fearing American, you’ve heard of, and most likely believe in, a creature known as Bigfoot.  Well, what you most likely do not know, is that Bigfoot is not alone in the woods of America.  He has a lesser known, though no less elusive, cousin known only as Bigbutt.   Bigbutt was first sighted and photographed about 2 hours ago by a drunken hunter named John “Sharp-Nipples” McGinn whilst he was peeing in the woods near his cabin in Fish Creek, Wisconsin.   “Ah wen’ out ta take me a huge pee, when alluva a sudden, a huge, hair covered butt come a walkin’ at me from outta da trees,” Mr. McGinn told reporters an hour ago.  “Da dang thing had ta be a’ least 4 foot across ‘n 3 foot high.  I took out ma phone ‘n I snapped da picture of it y’all see here.  The dang thing smelled kinda like a day old burrito dat was left out in da hot sun o’ August.   I screamed like a young gal who juz got ‘er first un-asked-fer kissed when I sawed it.  Dat made it shake itself until both its cheeks butt-slammed tagether makin’ a thunder-like sound dat rocked da trees aroun’ it so hard dey all ex-foliated a’ once.  Den it kinda made a fartin’ soun’ and it wabbled off inta ta woods, leavin’ behin’ it da foul smell I talked ’bout be’fer.  Lucky fer you all I gots dis picture of it.  I knows no one’d believe me utterwise.  It was a terrifyin’ experience.  Blessed be Jeebus fer seein’ to it dat I did survive dis encounter wit da monster known now ‘n ferever more as, Bigbutt.”

Bigbutt Witness And Photographer,

Bigbutt Witness And Photographer, John “Sharp-Nipples” McGinn Takes A Shot Of Vodka In Honor Of The Beast

26 thoughts on “Meet Bigfoot’s Elusive Cousin, Bigbutt

  1. F*****G hell! That pic gave me quite a shock but… LOL


  2. For two days now, everytime I open my reader I’m confronted with that hairy butt. I can’t stop laughing! While I’m a fan of both hairy men and bare men, I find that man’s butt a bit much to take…or maybe it’s just the thong that’s hittin’ me wrong. 🙂


  3. I couldn’t stop laughing from the time I started reading this post. You my friend are the best


  4. He’s easy to trap. Just put two-sided taped down on the toilet seat.


  5. I just have to say…seems to me you found one of the hiding 1970’s Russian female ex-porn stars… They were driven out of work, and into hiding by the sissy boys that took over porn because the gays got into power, and well you know they all like that stuff. Ask the boy scouts and the priests if you don’t believe me. Poor woman was probable hot for old sharp nipples and was upset he was so rude not to clap and at least braid her hair for her…or was that hare, always get those confused…any way. hugs and thanks.


  6. Pingback: Meet Bigfoot’s Elusive Cousin, Bigbutt | Scotties Toy Box

  7. That ass explains why the Muslim world is so far behind the west 😉


  8. Think I might be related to Bigbutt… maybe a distant cousin.

    I’m not sure about the credibility of John “Sharp-Nipples” McGinn, though. He speaks with a southern accent and lives in Wisconsin? No self-respecting Cheesehead would do that. His choice of libation is also questionable. No true-blooded, God-fearing American drinks vodka. That’s a drink for commie pinkos. Real Americans drink cheap beer, cheap whiskey, and untreated, unfiltered, unfluoridated waste-water – because if God didn’t want us to have cirrhosis, bacterial infections, and tooth decay, he wouldn’t have created these things. Amen.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Wow!!! Haha this is hilarious!! I saw a butt like this in college! I don’t think I’ll ever forget it!


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