Evidence The Christian God Is Real

So, Like, I Kept, Like, Thinking Really, Really Hard About It, And Then Like, Outta Nowhere, I Realized That, Like, Was God Not Only Real, And A Male With A Pee-Pee, He Was The Christian God And All The Other Gods People Do, And Have, Believed In, Are Like SOOO Totally Fake.   A Christian's Brain Thinking Very Hard: April, 12th 1988

So, Like, I Kept, Like, Thinking Really, Really Hard About It, And Then, Like, Outta Nowhere, I Realized That, Like, God Was Not Only Real, He Was The Christian God And All The Other Gods People Believe In, Are, Like, SOOO Totally Fake And Totally Made Up.  Ain’t That, Like, Cool?    Christian Brain Thinking Very, Very Hard.  April, 12th 1988

 

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43 thoughts on “Evidence The Christian God Is Real

  1. This is like, so true to many people, like, you would not believe. It’s like I just had some sort of epiphany thanks to you. Like, keep on blogging in a free world – The False Prophet

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  2. I commented on this after reading it but I can’t see it now…did my comment end up in the spam folder?! Sacrilegious! Haha

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  3. Me like it.
    If you are a christian and think really hard, the christian god is real, asses talk and all gods are false or don’t exist

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  4. That is crazy man! Really, I think you captured the essence well.

    Know what else is crazy? I am in a friggin KFC right now!

    Dude…

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    • Man, I’m jealous! I friggin’ LOVE KFC! Remember back in the 90’s when KFC “resurrected” the Colonial for their ads? They had an actor playing him and people freaked out, so they stopped that campaign.

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    • The 5 dollar box deal they have right now is the best fast food bargain out there right now. Bar none. I just finished my cookie 🙂

      I don’t recall that kerfuffle about the colonel. I know I felt a twinge recently when they did it again. I don’t guess I mind too much, and whoever seemed to care back then apparently have short memories.

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    • Difference now is that the REAL Colonel has literally been resurrected and he’s doing or did the newer commercials. They used the original recipe batter and some crazy-ass voodoo to resurrect the guy. Amazing what they can do these days with voodoo and food. Just amazing.

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    • I always thought there was some sort of magic to that original recipe! Take that and some voo doo, I see it now!

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    • I hear you can do wondrous things with McDonald’s secret Big Mac sauce and witch craft, too. CRAZY shit! I’d tell you what, but then, well, then I’d have to send spirits to fuck with you when you tried to sleep.

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    • Don’t do that, I’m having enough problems lately with sleep. My grogginess this morn is my own fault though, I stayed up late watching a UFC event.

      I’ve never been too crazy about the Big Mac sauce. If there is magic thar, it be evil!

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    • Love the UFC.

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    • Me too. I was kinda of afraid to admit that publically, for fear I’d be considered a knuckle dragging cro magnon. But in all honesty I don’t think most of use are too far from there 😉

      Did you see that KO Mir put on the new kid Duffee? Spectacular!

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    • Yeah. Those fighters are just the biggest bad-asses out there. Been watching the UFC since the Gracie days where a match didn’t stop til someone tapped out or was knocked out.

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  5. Well, there it is! All I need now to actually see God is a bag of weed (“everything’s better with a bag of weed,” you know), a bottle of cheap wine, a handful of shrooms, a big fat lazy sofa, and my TV remote control!

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    • And deep, deep thoughts. Never tried mushrooms, though I’d love to. Heard they’re awesome.

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    • Riding shrooms was big fun back in the day, but I’m too old for that kind of stuff now.

      Imagine walking through the produce section of your local grocery store with a good friend. You stop at a fresh strawberry display. Your friend picks up one of the sweet juicy berries and both of you examine it very, very closely. You can vividly see the bright red flesh dotted with tiny white depressions. You marvel at the deep green leafy-stem which looks like some wild hat from Alice in Wonderland. Suddenly, your friend squishes the berry between their fingers erupting it into a burst of red, white, and green. Your minds cannot handle it! Both of you break out in uncontrollable laughter while you run from the store at great speed. Everyone, and I mean everyone, is looking at you like some kind of lunatic.

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    • Sounds like a cool way to “expand” ones mind.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Totally, man, like thinking like a Christian is like HARD work, man! Like it or not, like.

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  7. That brain is about to explode! 😉

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  8. That should be the verse they read at baptisms. 😀

    Inspired, do you have many christians following your blog? The crazies keep latching onto me…I swear 25% of my readers are spammers, 25% are atheists, and 50% are CHRISTIANS. What is going on here?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Not anymore. They’ve gotten the idea that I’m not going to be nice about telling them to fuck off. Also, I use satire to make fun of them. They don’t like that. You are a very nice person and, thus, the christian ding-bats think it’ll be easy to sway you back to christainity. See, to the christian ding-bat, one can’t be a decent, nice person just cause, well, cause that’s who they are. If you’re nice, you must be nice because Jesus is within you making you that way. It’s their job, they feel, to save you by making you see what they see. Intrusive, parasitic, poo-poo heads. That’s what such christians are. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

    • I did recently write a post telling my proselytizers to FUCK OFF…in those exact words. So I don’t know that I’m that nice. Perhaps one “fuck-off” isn’t enough?

      It makes me freakin’ nervous, having all this bible bangers subscribed to my blog. 😦

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    • Well, if they’re just subscribed, that isn’t an issue. If they keep trying to post, just delete the post. A christian without a soap box is, well, silenced. If they send you personal emails, delete your email from your blog or report it to WP. They should not be allowed to harass you, and, if they’re trying to convert or save you and you don’t want it, that’s harassment. The buggers. I’ve let them comment and then altered their comments to ones praising me before deleting them. That REALLY pisses them off. I have several christian subscribers to my blog. I just looked. I thought not, but I was incorrect. They don’t harass me, though, so whatever. Odd batch, the christians, intrusive, narcissistic, sophomoric, idjits. 😀

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    • You altered their comments to praise you? OMg, that is genius. You’re the man!

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    • I did. Made them say glowing, kind things about me. The DID NOT like that. So, after I aggravated them, I deleted the comments. They stopped commenting. For a christian to comment on my ridiculously silly blog here and think they’re going to be taken seriously is a true sign to me of just how deluded and self-absorbed these din-bats are.

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    • I think I might use that idea for one of my really persistent proselytizers. Hehehe…you’re truly an evil genius, my friend.

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    • Why, thank you. I got the idea from Colorstorm who edits the shit outta comments on his blog. I figured two can play that game.

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    • I’ve seen how CS butchers comments…though I think he only deletes words. You adding flattering words for yourself is extra brilliance. Oh, the possibilities! 🙂

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    • Oh. I know. I was inspired by his rudeness and took it a step farther. 😀

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    • I mean, have they read my blog? Duh!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Bloody cheek of the man! Yours, Harry Krishna, KFC Branch, Nepal

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