Ken Ham Shows Off His Amazing Intelligence By Sporting This Abraham Lincoln-esque Beard
Hollow Skull, Kentucky. Creationist and founder of the highly intelligent Creation Museum in Kentucky, Ken Ham, announced today he is sponsoring a Search For Terrestrial Intelligence program in order to find the few intelligent people on Earth who realize the Bible is, word for word, undeniably true, and Jesus is our true Lord and Savior who loves everyone equally whilst hating fags. “I just know in my highly intelligent mind that there are other people out there who are as intelligent as I am,” Mr. Ham said earlier today. “I’ve come up with a test to give people to see which ones are intelligent and which are stupid, dumb-dumb heads. It’s a test I call the Search For Terrestrial Intelligence. It consists of three simple questions which are as follows: 1.) Are you intelligent enough to recognize the great intelligence I, Ken Ham, possess? 2.) Are you intelligent enough to understand the Bible is absolutely, word for word, correct? And, lastly, 3.) Do you accept the fact that if you answered ‘no’ to either of the first two questions you’ve proven yourself to be an unintelligent poo-poo head and an evil atheist? This test will weed out the dumb-dumbs from those brilliant enough to realize my superior intellect. The test will also help Jesus sort through the idiots who didn’t believe in my intelligence come judgement day. It will also help me and my followers know who to hate much more clearly. So, if you think you’re intelligent, take the test and prove it. Otherwise, I, and Jesus, will just assume you’re a stupid poo-poo face.”
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
I also was going to make frontal lobe joke here, but they’re all so inevitable with a guy like Ham. (Of course they all assume that Ham’s head is real, and I’ve always suspected it was some weird fungal growth….)
BTW, as soon as Ham has found his flock, they will be anointed into public office: https://sensuouscurmudgeon.wordpress.com/2015/07/08/ken-ham-wants-a-theocracy/
LikeLike
His entire being is a weird fungal growth. This dude is a punchline to an endless number of jokes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
As soon as he has found his flock, they will be anointed into public office: https://sensuouscurmudgeon.wordpress.com/2015/07/08/ken-ham-wants-a-theocracy/
I also was going to make frontal lobe joke here, but they’re all so inevitable with a guy like Ham. (Of course they all assume that Ham’s head is real, and I’ve always suspected it was some weird fungal growth….)
LikeLike
I think the first place he should start looking for intelligence, is in the mirror.
LikeLike
All he’ll find there is Lincoln’s beard.
LikeLike
I don’t know what to say. This is just hilarious. And those questions man! they are loaded
LikeLike
Thanks, my friend.
LikeLike
Is Mr Ham an alien in denial?
LikeLike
Could well be.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It always amazes me how much Ken Ham looks like a neanderthal.
LikeLike
He does.
LikeLike
Rasperry
LikeLike
Burp! Fart! Burp! 🙂
LikeLike
Wow, I don’t know what to say, he completely left me behind..is the lord allowed to do that.. I have a ticket to the ark, paid good money for it.. shoot, forgot to check the date of departure.. Glub glub..bubble bubble. 🙂 love it. Hugs
LikeLike
$Amen$ You are loved!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank ye..will he turn the boat around ??? I can pay more…??? 🙂 hugs
LikeLike
$Amen$
LikeLike
“I just know in my highly intelligent mind that there are other people out there who are as intelligent as I am,” Mr. Ham said earlier today” – he’s right, there are far too many out there ‘as intelligent as he is’
You are such a great satirist, I swear you were born to do this 😀
LikeLike
Thanks my friend. You’ve made my night. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, make sure you watch “Cigarette Burns”. You like Norman Reedus, and he’s awesome in this. You should be able to stream it from some site somewhere. It’s great and scary, and John Carpenter at the top of his game.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Right, adding this to the list 😉
LikeLike
$Amen$ 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Funny coming from a guy who became an organ donor, specifically donating his frontal lobes, to help fund the $27 million dollar creation museum.
LikeLike
Ken Ham has frontal lobes? News to me. 🙂
LikeLike
Not anymore.
LikeLike
😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reminds me of a time Ark said some fellow, who had commented on his blog, had donated their brains
LikeLike
That’d be Ken Ham.
LikeLike
He fits the description
LikeLike
He does.
LikeLike
Ken Ham searches for terrestrial intelligence in Hollow Skull, Kentucky…
Good luck, Ken. You’re going to need luck… and, a whole lot of it.
LikeLike
I LOVE Ken Ham!!!! HURRAY Ken!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person