Search For Terrestrial Intelligence Program Launched By Ken Ham

Ken Ham Shows His Amazing Intelligence By Sporting This Abraham Lincoln-esque Beard

Ken Ham Shows Off His Amazing Intelligence By Sporting This Abraham Lincoln-esque Beard

Hollow Skull, Kentucky.  Creationist and founder of the highly intelligent Creation Museum in Kentucky, Ken Ham, announced today he is sponsoring a Search For Terrestrial Intelligence program in order to find the few intelligent people on Earth who realize the Bible is, word for word, undeniably true, and Jesus is our true Lord and Savior who loves everyone equally whilst hating fags.  “I just know in my highly intelligent mind that there are other people out there who are as intelligent as I am,” Mr. Ham said earlier today.   “I’ve come up with a test to give people to see which ones are intelligent and which are stupid, dumb-dumb heads.  It’s a test I call the Search For Terrestrial Intelligence.  It consists of three simple questions which are as follows: 1.) Are you intelligent enough to recognize the great intelligence I, Ken Ham, possess?  2.) Are you intelligent enough to understand the Bible is absolutely, word for word, correct? And, lastly, 3.) Do you accept the fact that if you answered ‘no’ to either of the first two questions you’ve proven yourself to be an unintelligent poo-poo head and an evil atheist?  This test will weed out the dumb-dumbs from those brilliant enough to realize my superior intellect.  The test will also help Jesus sort through the idiots who didn’t believe in my intelligence come judgement day.  It will also help me and my followers know who to hate much more clearly.  So, if you think you’re intelligent, take the test and prove it.  Otherwise, I, and Jesus, will just assume you’re a stupid poo-poo face.”

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32 thoughts on “Search For Terrestrial Intelligence Program Launched By Ken Ham

  1. I think the first place he should start looking for intelligence, is in the mirror.

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  2. I don’t know what to say. This is just hilarious. And those questions man! they are loaded

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  3. Is Mr Ham an alien in denial?

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  4. It always amazes me how much Ken Ham looks like a neanderthal.

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  5. Wow, I don’t know what to say, he completely left me behind..is the lord allowed to do that.. I have a ticket to the ark, paid good money for it.. shoot, forgot to check the date of departure.. Glub glub..bubble bubble. 🙂 love it. Hugs

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  6. “I just know in my highly intelligent mind that there are other people out there who are as intelligent as I am,” Mr. Ham said earlier today” – he’s right, there are far too many out there ‘as intelligent as he is’
    You are such a great satirist, I swear you were born to do this 😀

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  7. Funny coming from a guy who became an organ donor, specifically donating his frontal lobes, to help fund the $27 million dollar creation museum.

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  8. Ken Ham searches for terrestrial intelligence in Hollow Skull, Kentucky…

    Good luck, Ken. You’re going to need luck… and, a whole lot of it.

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