The following message was partly funded by: The Republican Committee To Eliminate Poor People By Killing Them
Dear Illuminati, may I, The Arm Chair Pontificator, please come work for you? I absolutely assure you that I can do anything Miley Cyrus can do as well or better than she can. I would love the fame and fortune your members have too. And I love that everyone seems to know who you are while insisting that you are a totally hidden and secret group. Friggin’ amazing how that works. I promise, too, if you hire me, to make La Toya Jackson suffer terribly for outing you as the killers of her traitor brother Micheal to the media. That rat!!!
My New Ass Tattoo
Oh, before I forget, I got this cool looking Illuminati symbol tattooed on my ass yesterday to prove my loyalty to whatever it is you guys actually do. So, please, secret Illuminati people, hire me to do evil for you. You won’t be sorry you did.
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
Well, that’s the best job application I’ve seen in a long time!
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Thanks.
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“I absolutely assure you that I can do anything Miley Cyrus can do as well or better than she can”.
I want to see proof of that, assuring ain’t enough 😉
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I’ll try to post a YouTube video of me using my Miley-like Illuminati skills, once I figure out what they are, that is. 🙂
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Hahaha I so want to see that video 😀
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🙂
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Ouch…how long until you can sit with that big ass tattoo? Talk about hemorrhoids. Oh my!
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I’m still standing.
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🙂
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It seems I misread the caption on your picture, lol.
http://xkcd.com/37/
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Nope. You read it right. 🙂
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You sure? I read it as [big-ass] tattoo, not big [ass tattoo].
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It’s whatever you read it as. I’m flexible that way. 🙂
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Doesn’t everyone’s ass tattoo look like that?
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once you are employed, tell them you have a friend willing to join you
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Will do. 🙂
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At the moment we only hire illegal immigrants, sorry !
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Well, if I sneak into France on a potato boat without a passport, I’ll be there illegally; then you can hire me. 🙂
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Potato boat? What’s that? Are you coming from Ireland?
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Chicago via Ireland. I’m stopping there for a Guiness first. 🙂
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Satire…true satire as Lord Daniel Soz 7th Earl of Whitechapel would certainly approve of!
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Lord Soz is my hero! He’s an Illuminati member for sure.
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