Former Pope, Benedict, Converts To Islam To Wed 12 Year Old Girl

Former Pope, Benedict, As he Looks Today

Former Pope, Benedict, As he Looks Today

Unbelievableville, New Jersey.  News out of the Middle East today is that former Pope, Benedict, has converted to Islam in order to wed a 12-year-old girl he first saw while on vacation in Orlando this past winter. “I saw her coming off the ‘It’s A Small World’ ride at Disney World and knew I had to have her,” said Benedict, who now calls himself Sheikh Allah BaBa BooBoo. “My mind immediately began to race toward ways I could possess a young girl both legally and morally, and I decided the best way would be to convert to Islam, kidnap the child, take her to a country run by fanatical Muslim idealists, and marry the bitch there. That’s exactly what I did, too. And there ain’t a fuckin’ thing anyone can do or say about it because my faith allows my disgusting behavior. And, since the world gives religion a blind deference, you can just piss off if you don’t like it.”  It is not known which Muslim country Sheikh BaBa BooBoo is living in, but President Obama released a statement today claiming his hands were tied in this matter due to it being a religious issue and imaginary, invisible beings were involved that could send him to Hell if he angered them by interfering.


32 thoughts on “Former Pope, Benedict, Converts To Islam To Wed 12 Year Old Girl

  1. It seems a bit complicated to go through all of that just get a kiddie to fuck. What happened to the old system of just nabbing one in the congregation? The old cover up and deny, and shifting blame to the victim routine has worked well for them…

    Disgusting bastards have the balls to claim moral high ground? That’s a pretty good trick for a pedophile cult.

  2. *their

  3. Gosh, for some reason I thought he’d go for a much younger girl — their girly bits are tighter, right?

    “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married ‘Aa’ishah when she was six years old and consummated the marriage when she was nine.”

    Oh wait — seems the a girl can be fuckable under the age of nine.

    “There is nothing in the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah to set an age limit, or to forbid that in the case of a girl who is able for it before the age of nine”

    Blessed be Pope Benedict, a.k.a. Sheikh Allah BaBa BooBoo, for being so merciful and choosing a slightly older girl to legally rape.

  4. I hope you get well soon. I was thinking that the old pope would have gone all bending of knee and kidnapped a 9 year old boy. I wondered if that is why he retired as he was hold a boy sex slave, now I know he was blackmailed by others in the priesthood who had pictures of him and little girls. Having sex with girls is a number 1 or 2 no no in that church leadership, so he had to retire or they would disgrace him. Thanks for clearing that up for me. Hugs

    • You bet. Priests rape little girls far more often than you’d think. I think they keep the lid on this because they have their boy-rapists only image to maintain, but in my research, I’ve found more than a few female victims out there speaking out about being raped by pedophile priests as children. I find it so comforting to know the sons of bitches don’t discriminate on which child to rape based on their sex. Fine, outstanding members of society priests are, eh?

    • how can they even think of sleeping, how can they think a deity is OK with that action much less having his representatives doing it. I just don’t get how they could….live with themselves. If they really believed in their version of God I think they would fear what he would do to them so much they would die of fright. Oh I forget their holy book has lots of incest and other sex acts they preach against now. Hugs

    • And that the hierarchy of the church hides these rapists and lies for them and has never once been held accountable, as an institution, for its sins against humanity’s children is sickening, totally sickening. And yet, they’ve time to condemn gay marriage, just an insane morality the church has.

  5. A very fine satire indeed Sir…you should tackle the former Archbishop of Canterbury’s overwhelming desire to mate with a pig from the Brecon Beacons next!

  6. Brilliant! See, this is what I’m talking about – when I was writing my “freedom of speech” post, I did think of you and toyed with the idea of giving you a nod because ‘satire which has the purpose to expose wrongs and hypocrisy while using humor’ is exactly what you do! I love it and thank fuck for people like you – you would have fit right in at Charlie Hebdo 😉

    • Thanks. Charlie Hebdo and its writers are heroes of mine. Every fucking magazine and newspaper worldwide should have printed Charlie Hebdo cartoons the minute those writers were executed by Islamic maniacs in January. That they didn’t is a sign of cowardice and weakness. Fuck Islamic extremists and fuck their religion. When your religion tells you to murder people who write funny cartoons about it, your religion sucks big ass donkey nuts. I believe satire is much more appreciated in Europe than here in the States. People here, on the whole, are so bloody dense, they don’t get it, not all of them, but far too many. I’ll post part two of this story tomorrow. I posted them both awhile ago, but few saw or read them, so I’ve re-edited and re-posted this one, and tomorrow I’ll do the same for part two. $Amen$

    • I’m totally with you on this one:nobody printed those cartoons after the attack. I remember watching newspaper editors on TV here in England saying that they would “have loved to but that they knew they just couldn’t” and I thought that was so weak and pathetic. Anyway, I’m off to check out part 2 🙂

    • $Amen$

  7. Hahaha. That’s a nice ending to my busy weekend

    • Praise be Allah! 🙂

    • and his dead prophets.
      How are you my friend

    • Bit of a head cold, otherwise OK. How are you? Like your new avatar, BTW. Looks like he’s saying, “Wadda you lookin’ at, pal?” 🙂

    • Sorry about the cold. I am great.
      He is saying, if you don’t like what I say, lick my butt

    • Smart fellow, he is. 🙂

    • I tell you, very smart fellow.
      How far have you gone with Supernatural religion? I am almost finished with Vol 2 and he says up to the end of the 2nd century, there is no direct reference to the canonical gospels and when the fathers refer to scripture, they mean the OT. How do people still believe the bible is the inspired word of a god written by eye witnesses to transporter fish?

    • I’ve been skimming through it. It is quite an eye opener. EVERYTHING about today’s christianity is cherry picked hogwash. That this information is suppressed by its omission from what we’re taught about christianity in churches goes to show you how full of shit modern christians are. Lying, deceiving bastards.

    • I think 90% , and am being generous, don’t know that there exist so much criticism of their religion. All they know is what their pastors have to say

    • Very true. I’m critical of it, and still am amazed to learn about how much criticism of it exists and has existed throughout the centuries. Christianity is one, big made up bloody lie.

    • What do you expect of the Sunday Christian? You have been critical of it but every few days you learn something new.
      For example you have heard Christians argue that the empty tomb is evidence for their risen lord. Consider this, only Matthew knows about this detail and the guards only go to the tomb a day later. Just think about that for a few minutes

    • We should find the tomb and turn it into a B & B. Our slogan will be, “Come Sleep and Eat Breakfast On The Spot Where An Empty Tomb Was Found Thus Creating A Bullshit Religion! P.S. Free cable for our first hundred customers!”

    • Hahaha. I like that

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