“That is to say,” said alien representative, Mi Fli B’Opn, “those humans who even know what door knobs are. We aliens have been doing EVERYTHING for you humans since you chowder-heads first started walkin’ on 2 legs, which, BTW, WE taught you how to do.
Mi Fli B’Opn says, “Humans Are Really, Really Dumb.”
So it never fails to make us laugh when some of you ninnies actual talk as if HUMANS built the pyramids. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!??? Human beings could no more build a pyramid than make a damn pancake without alien intervention. As a matter of fact, most of you apes couldn’t brush your damn teeth each morning if an alien didn’t beam down into your body and do it for you. The one thing I must say about humans is this: the amount of helplessness and stupidity prevalent amongst your species is, and has always been, pandemically crippling for you when left without alien help. The truest testament to this is, as I hinted at earlier, a belief many of you have that you are alone in the universe and that you ignorant dolts actually have the brain capacity to think and problem solve on your own, without our continual intervention. What a bunch of knuckle-heads you are. You’re lucky we like you. You really, really are. Without us, you’d all be like toddlers with your pants full of poop looking for Mommy to change your pull-up. Think about that the next time you question WHO it was who built the pyramids of Ancient Egypt, you knuckle-heads, you!”
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
…I guess in the case of R’s and creationists, they just never came back?
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Great point. 🙂
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So that explains all of the stupid human activity I have witnessed over the years.
When people are behaving stupidly, the aliens are off for a piss/coffee break! It all makes sense now! Thanks for clearing this up for me. 🙂 🙂
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That’s why I spent decades developing these fine tuned reporting skills. 🙂
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That picture of Mi Fli B’Opn is just so like my boss! Could I be working for aliens? No wonder they won’t give us a raise, I suppose it’s all they can do to not eat us.
Between the likes of Mi Fli B’Opn and the human-impersonating lizards who run the Tri-Lateral Commision, I have this funny sense that there are probably very few humans left on this planet.
Remember: “It’s a cookbook, it’s a cookbook!!”
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I do. Crazy how these aliens run everything. DAMN THEM!!
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Oh Devine 1 I knew it! Freakin Aliens built the pyramids and started the enduring process of government contracting to the lowest bidder. Now we have pyramids we can’t use but at least labor was cheap in those days. 🙂
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It was. And the government learned the lowest bidder deal from the aliens too. Very little we haven’t gotten from them.
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Hmmm. I wonder if flatulence was their idea of a joke. Maybe we are just not smart enough to use this gift properly.
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I think it was. If we were smarter, we’d find a way to use it as fuel for our cars. Oh, well.
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Alas, where are the Aliens when we need them?
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Flying around in their UFO’s flashing lights at people, I guess. 🙂
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Did the alien’s dig out a pretty regular cave for JC? I’m thinking here they maybe hadn’t got wind of him so thought bullocks that’ll do .
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I think JC was an alien. Besides regular religious types, UFO believers are about as faith driven a batch of folks as you’ll find. Praise be the almighty UFO and the aliens who fly it, and blessed be the circles they leave in our fields. $Amen$
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Well, if we humans are dumber than door knobs, that does explain a few things. Like reality TV, Fox news, deep fried twinkies (mmmmmmmm deeeeeep frieeeed Twinkies…..)
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Reblogged this on The Blogging Path and commented:
Those “aliens” are a bunch of arrogant fools! How dare they under-estimate humans and label us as “dumb or dumber” than a door knob! Bah!
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Careful not to piss em off. They have really big ray guns that can vaporize you. AND, they’re smart enough to use em.
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“They” can’t hurt me with by BIG tin foil hat!
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I’ve got two of those just in case one breaks. 🙂
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Yeah, I may need both of yours because I don’t think one layer of mine is enough protection against those gosh-darn ALIENS!
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Thank god for aluminum or we’d all be victims of alien mind control.
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Reblogged this on Illuminutti.
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Thanks for the reblog! I appreciate it my Illuminutti pal!
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Hahaha! This sounds true. Since the Egyptians built their pyramids, we have not done anything in such scale and precision
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We haven’t built anything like them because they serve absolutely NO practical purpose. They were built as after-life palaces for the Pharaohs, who were gods to the Egyptians. Decades were needed as well as tens of thousands of people to build the pyramids. Technology makes life easier for things people need to do. Since we no longer have needed massive afterlife houses for Pharaohs/Gods in say, 5000 years, we don’t build such things. Only an idiot would spend the billions it would take to build something like that. Totally and completely useless use of money, years and labor.
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