Marvel Studios and Heaven announced today that St. Paul, the dude who spread Christianity like butter during the first century, has been cast as a comedic nemesis to Thor in Avengers: Age of Ultron. “It’s gonna be great,” said St. Paul today. “It’s a HILARIOUS part I have. I play myself and pop up at unexpected moments in the film to taunt Thor about the fact there’s only one god, and it’s Jesus, not him. There’s a scene where Thor is doing his business in the bathroom and I enter the stall next to him. I burst into this annoying song they wrote for me while I toss bibles over the top of the stall at him. He gets really pissed and calls his hammer which smashes down half the bathroom to get to him. Then I run away shouting that this is just the beginning of what I’m going to do to him. Funny, people, really funny stuff. Oh, the song I sing is to the tune of If I Were A Rich Man and goes something like this: If I were a true man, tinkle winkle, tinkle winkle, tinkle winkle, tinkle wink. All day long I’d say I’m not a god, and that I am a dirty, lying fink.”
Avengers: Age of Ultron opens on Friday, May 1st and is sure to be another hit for Marvel Studios, especially now that St. Paul is in it.
“I burst into this annoying song they wrote for me while I toss bibles over the top of the stall at him.”
Still laughing because the scene is playing in my head so vividly. They should have you write screenplays, like, work with the Coen Brothers or something. I sooo could see you do that! You ARE hilarious and your descriptive powers are impressive. GO AND WRITE A MOVIE NOW!!
LikeLike
I’d love to work with those guys or Tarantino. They’re my heroes. You’ve read my First Supper of Christ script, I believe: https://variouspontifications.com/2014/01/04/youve-heard-about-the-last-but-have-you-heard-about-the-first-supper-of-jesus-and-the-apostles/. It’s in 5 parts and long, but I really like it. I LOVE Thor, too. He and Hulk are my favorite superheroes. New Avengers’ movie comes out soon, and I CAN NOT wait to see it! Joss Whedon’s a superb writer and director of such things. Thanks for your laughter, too. Makes me smile. 🙂
LikeLike
Yes, I have read it but I’m going to again just because it was so good and I have time on my hands right now 😀
I’m aware of your love for Thor but never knew about Hulk. I don’t believe it has come up in conversation before 😉 Did you ever watch the TV original? Man, I loved David Banner then and that piano music 🙂
LikeLike
That was a good show. I like the “Hulk smash!” Hulk from the comics too. I wanna be him when I get pissed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like Hulk 🙂
Some people would say I AM Hulk when I get pissed! Hahaha
LikeLike
There’s a She-Hulk too. Ever seen her? She’s only been in the comics, but boy, oh boy, is she HOT!!!! She can beat me up anytime. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh yeah, I know of her 😉 And now I’m gonna have to ask that randy dog to calm down again 😛 haha
LikeLike
I was just watching Scarlett Johansson in her Black Widow cat suit, so my dog is extra randy right now!!! HOWL!!!! WOOF!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can’t wait to start singing the tinkle tinkle song in a public restroom…. 🙂 Hugs
LikeLike
Let me know how it goes when you do. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀 I’m tickled red.
Now that’s a movie worth seeing. You better watch out. Your ideas will be on the silver screen, sanitized and without credit.
LikeLike
Too true. Thanks for reading and commenting. May Thor watch over you and protect you from giant robots.
LikeLiked by 1 person
that’s a catchy tune : i hope you get a gold record or higher if there is such a thing
LikeLike
I’ll let you know if I do. 🙂
LikeLike
you will get one & hopefuly soon.
LikeLike
That would be great. And no soy veggie burgers for me. I agree.
LikeLike
you guys in chicago probably eat chicken burgers
LikeLike
Those are good, but, if I’m gonna eat a burger, I like cow meat. Rare and bloody cow meat. Moo!
LikeLike
oh no rare?…when i ate burgers or any i always always ordered wellllll done.
LikeLike
Yuck. I eat meat very rarely, but when I do, I want it mooing. 😀
LikeLike
noo..if he’s mooing i’m patting him on the head and hiding him from the butcher
LikeLike
You’re right. I’d do the same. That’s why I almost never eat meat. I love animals too much.
LikeLike
that’s good. i wonder what carzy person , one day said hey let’s eat that pig 5 billion years ago.
LikeLike
Probably a very hungry one. If people used things with respect, I wouldn’t mind it so much, but the way animals are gorged and slaughtered, just to feed our consumer crazed society, is both wasteful and immoral IMO.
LikeLike
that is a darn good, funny answer “probably a hungry one” . i guess that’s right..
you are correct
LikeLike
Though, if I had to kill a pig by hand or live on potatoes, I’d look like a french fry about now.
LikeLike
This is still hilarious as the first time I read it.
LikeLike
Thanks, pal. Ive moved a few older posts up for a second look, cause not too many saw ’em first time around, and I’ve several new followers who I thought would like them. I’ve cranked out so many of these things, I’ve forgotten some of them myself. 🙂
LikeLike
You my friend are hilarious, truly hilarious.
I have told you time and time again, I wouldn’t mind having your brain for a few days
LikeLike
Thank you. Very kind of you to say. Satire and humor are the only ways I can deal with the anger I feel over the idiocy of religious nut-bars like Mr. Lawyer guy on your blog. They are walking punch lines to jokes I never weary of telling.
LikeLike
Laughing my fucking ass off!
Love the song.
‘Doctor Zhivago’? Yeah?
Just kidding!
Do one for ‘Match-maker, match-maker, make me a match…or a Zippo….’
LikeLike
Thanks for laughing. St. Paul as Tevya in Fiddler maybe? A Catholic saint plays a Jew, and he sings! Love it!
LikeLike
I know! It is hilarious.
(Fiddler is one of my favorite musicals, by the way) Love the movie and have also seen it performed a few times on stage different venues.
LikeLike
I played Tevye in 2 different productions over the years. I love the play too, and the movie. Wish I could have seen Zero Mostel in it back in the day. He’s such a different actor than Topel who played Tevye in the film. I liked both, but very different performers.
LikeLike
Can I sing your song?
LikeLike
Please do.
LikeLike
Man, go for a beer. You are effing hilarious!
LikeLike
If you ever make it to Chicago, the first 4 are on me.
LikeLike