Bigotland, Indiana. Bullshit expert and head of The University of Chicago’s, That’s A Fuckin’ Lie And You Know It department, Professor Vivian V. Agina, said today that Creationists are literally more full of bullshit than real bulls.
Jesus The Creationist
“My department conducted a two-year research project to determine if the shit Creationists espouse could in any way be measured against the shit in the intestines of real bulls,” Professor V. Agina said. “And sure enough, we determined it could be. We had individual Creationists stand on a platform next to which a constipated, real bull also stood. The bulls were secured behind a steel gate keeping the Creationists safe from any physical harm. The bulls, however, could still hear clearly everything spoken around them. We then asked the Creationists to describe for us their literal reading of Genesis as well as several other readings from the Bible which they took to be literally true. In test after test, each time the Creationists began their diatribe on the literal accuracy of the Bible, the bulls began to violently charge at the gate keeping them from the Creationists. In addition to this, each and every bull violently released the contents of its constipated intestines just as each Creationist began to explain that Noah’s Ark was not a story, but literally true. Needless to say, the bullshit from the real bulls ran out LONG before the bullshit coming from the mouths of the Creationists.
Creationists Are Great Bull Enemas
Thus, we have determined with absolute scientific accuracy, that not only do they make excellent bull enemas, Creationists are far more full of bullshit than real bulls, even severely constipated ones.”
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
“Bullshit expert and head of The University of Chicago’s, That’s A Fuckin’ Lie And You Know It department, Professor Vivian V. Agina, said today that Creationists are literally more full of bullshit than real bulls.”
What an opening! You might just be a genius 😀
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A self-awarded Nobel Prize winning genius, mind you. Now, if I can just get the Nobel Committee to give me my award, I’ll be set. 🙂
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The Nobel Committee is gonna have to relent soon…….right? 😉
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I’ve been prank calling them non-stop on burner phones for weeks, so, yes. Yes they will. 🙂
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Haha, either that or they will end up stark raving mad!
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Like me. 😀
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The carbuncles of creation have met their match with the smartphone and Google. Once one bites the modern apple of knowledge the flatulators of fantasy are left alone to ponder if science isn’t the work of the great red horned one.
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The Great Horned One? Isn’t he the Great Pink One’s Gay Cousin?
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I sometimes wonder if they aren’t more closely related or even one in the same. I’m convinced they work together. Why would we need one if we didn’t have the other?
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Wiser words I’ve not read, my friend. $Amen$
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At last, the science is in!
(Unfortunately they don’t believe in any science.)
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This science is so full of, yep, shit, that they just might.
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Nothing like a good old research type study to accurately ascertain the full facts I say! Did you know that this Good Friday the head of the Church of England, namely the Archbishop of Canterbury will be washing the feet of the common people in Canterbury Cathedral which is not far from here. Given I’m riddled with verruca’s I thought I might pop along and have mine washed!
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Let me know how that goes. If well, I’ll pop by to have mine washed next year. 🙂
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Pretty funny shit there. But it’s sad that you actually have a reason to write it, eh?
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It is. Sadder yet is I’ve had reasons to write hundreds more just like it here on this Nobel Prize winning blog. And, there’s hundreds more coming. Some shit never gets flushed down the toilet. It just floats on top of the water spreading its stench throughout the room forever and ever. $Amen$ 🙂
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Reblogged this on The Blogging Path and commented:
Hmm, I don’t know if I should feel sorry for the real bulls or those Creationists, who cause coffee-colored enemas to spew forth from the rear-ends of a Creator’s creation. It’s been a while since you wrote something hilarious again, TACP!
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Thanks. 🙂
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Oh, and thanks for re-blogging. 🙂
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The shit runnth over….I have to ask if the creationist had to clean up after themselves making all that bull fertilizer. Well done I say, I have often loved the scientific method. However I do have one question…should you now tell the animal protection people so they can go after the creationist for causing the bulls to lose their full feeling and causing the unnatural loss of cramping? Just wondering? Good job and all, keep it going. Hugs
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Gotta protect those innocent bulls, eh? Thanks for reading. 🙂
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I love your humor and what you write is a joy to read. It often sparks flights of fancy in my own mind. Hugs
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Got sparks in my mind too. Crazy, wild sparks. 🙂
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Careful Jesus, that very dangerous raptor you are caressing is NOT a Christian!
Reminds me of the Killer Rabbit in Monty Python and the Holy Grail: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcxKIJTb3Hg
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One of THE funniest movies EVER!!!!!
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“Sharp, pointy teeth!” – lol!
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I watch that movie like once a year. Those fellas, and John Cleese’s Fawlty Towers, turned my brain into the twisted thing it is now.
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I’m with ya, bro. Nothing wrong with a few twists here and there!
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I guess the bulls are the ones who need protection, not the other way around.
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As do the rest of us.
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