03.22.15
by

Diaper Christ Wore On The Cross Sold On eBay

Diaper Then

The Holy Diaper Then

Just in time for Easter, the diaper Christ wore while nailed to the cross on Golgotha was sold today on eBay for an undisclosed sum of money. The man who bought the soiled, bloody diaper, Richard Glas’unful, had this to say about his purchase: “I wanted to possess this macabre and disturbing artifact connected to Christ’s last agonizing hours on Earth for two reasons.

Diaper Now

The Holy Diaper Now

One, I’m a card-carrying sadistic sociopath, raised to love Our Lord And Savior, Jesus Christ, and owning his bloody, crap-stained diaper really gets me off. Two, I want to hang the diaper in my front window every Easter season to illustrate to all who see it the true meaning of Easter. Easter’s true meaning has nothing to do with bunnies, candies, hams, or annoying little brats running about collecting stinky-ass eggs. No, the REAL meaning of Easter, its TRUE meaning, is that Jesus Christ was crucified in a diaper, a diaper, mind you, in which he shat not only feces, but blood, for us, so that we could be forgiven, by God, for the sin of apple-eating committed by Adam and that devious woman, Eve, thousands of years before any of us were even born. THAT is the true meaning of Easter, and it is found in the holy diaper of Christ which I bought today. Amen, and Hallelujah! Praise be His holy, shit-stained, diaper!”

45 thoughts on “Diaper Christ Wore On The Cross Sold On eBay”

  1. This is great
    Stuff and I do mean stuff
    Just thought I come and see how the other half lived

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    • I live by stuffing myself on Christian infants and satiating myself on the blood of Christian virgins. Also, I’m always serious, and everything I say is to be taken as fact. $Amen$ 🙂 Thanks for stopping by.

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  2. The Holy Diaper pic had me laughing while simultaneously wrinkling my nose in disgust 😀

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  3. You never fail to induce me into fucking laughing my ass off mode.

    Great post.

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  4. Is this diaper what conventional wisdom has been referring to as the shroud of Turin?
    You really are good with words

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    • Naw. That was a full body cover. Damned interesting artifact too. It first shows up around 1390 in France then makes its way to Turin, Italy. The Pope at the time considered it to be a clever forgery, which it is, but damned if anyone can figure out exactly how the medieval artist got that image on the cloth like that. Doesn’t help that the Church won’t let it be fully analyzed either, though they do not claim it to be an actual image of Christ on the sheet.

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  5. You’re back! And at it like never before! And you opened my eyes…I never considered the fact that Jesus, like other dead people, shit their pants one last time. God, I would hate live downwind from where that diaper is hanging:S

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    • I’m certain the Romans crucified people nude, as shame was part of the deal, along with the excruciating torture and pain of the actual crucifixion. So the final shit most likely wound up at the bottom of the cross smelling the joint up to “high Heaven!”

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    • Ah, so that diaper was retconned into the story because Eve saw an apple 4000 years prior? Too bad, now we’ll never know what Jesus’ wiener looked like, or what his excrements smelled like:(

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    • I wonder if Jesus had a wiener? Say, I wonder, if he were living today, do you think he’d make use of the services Adam for Adam provides? Now, wouldn’t that be interesting?

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    • I tell you…with that sixpack body of his, hanging on that cross…he’ll definitely score a lot of points in the bondage niche!

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    • Odd, I was reading up on crucifixion methods for a post I want to do today, and I came across several bondage sites with “Crucified Women” as their theme. Babes were all bound up in poses on crosses with fake crowns of thorns on em. I kinda thought some of em were hot, but then again, I’m a sick ass child eatin’ atheist with no morals so wadda ya expect. Didn’t realize that particular fetish exists, but I’m not at all surprised.

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  6. The wait was worth it – satire at it very best.

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    • Why thank you, kind Sir. I’ve been held hostage in Geneva by those Godless whores who make up the Nobel Prize Committee, but I’ve escaped, and I WILL have my revenge! Bastards!!!!

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    • Could have been worse I guess – the Inquisition and all that. If you were blogging back then maybe you’d have lasted just the one post; then the bonfire! Good to see you back.

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    • Glad to be back. Actually, I’m a wimp. The Inquisition would’ve forced me to stay silent. Something about weeks of horrible medieval torture that just doesn’t appeal to me.

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    • This is sorta OT, but your comment reminded me of the new Cosmos series. Have you been watching it?

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    • Everything here is off topic as there’s no real topic to begin with! 😀 I’ve not seen it yet, but most certainly will. I love the host, Neil Degrasse, and loved the old show, too. Sagan was the man.

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    • Sagan was indeed the man. I’ve never been into hero worship, but if I was, Sagan would fit the bill. When you see the end of part 1 of the series, you will see why no one else could have filled Sagan’s shows better. It was a Kleenex moment for me. 😀

      Btw, I love your OT perspective. Right up my alley.

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    • OT perspective? Off topic, I assume you mean? But of course! There’s certainly no other way to read this blog of mine here. I mean, COME ON! It’s nuts! And fun, but nuts! And Thank Jeebus for that!

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    • Sagan’s quote, “Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence to be believed,” is a mantra I try to live by. And, it’s very true of how I view things. I’ve no idea what may or may not be possible. Anything could be possible, for all I know, but if I’m to BELIEVE that something completely magical and all-powerful is the cause of some said event, then evidence must be there strongly supporting that claim or I’ve no reason to believe it. I’ve a friend who absolutely insists aliens HAD to have built the pyramids and doesn’t see why I do not for a second believe such nonsense. What would it take to convince me, he always asks. I answer, aliens and or their space ship. I’m looked at as if I’m a dolt when I say that. Odd, how confirmation bias allows to believe in such silly nonsense with every fiber of our beings.

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    • Life is much more wondrous and sobering without the static of a narcissistic god. Dr. Sagan wrote:

      “It is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.”

      Amen, brother Carl.

      “For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love.”

      And another amen.

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    • I’m sure you’ve read, Sagan’s book, ” The Demon Haunted World.” It’s just wonderful. And he writes with such kindness, wisdom, and warmth, I can’t help but wish he were still here with us.

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  7. LOL — Welcome back — you’ve been missed..

    Poor Eve, the only one in the lot who had a genuine thirst for knowledge, yet she continues to get raked over the coals with derogatory language. Adam is just an apple eating Adam, but Eve? She’s a fucking bitch. It’s quite telling. As for the true meaning of Easter — Amen, and Hallelujah! Praise be his holy diaper! 😀

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