Gasland, Oklahoma. Fabrication specialist, Lori L. Abia stopped by TACP offices today with some awesome quotes from some famous people that they never said. We present them for your reading pleasure below.
1.) Yoda: Well done this burger is! Order it this way, I did not. Another make me, or leave I will, and pay, I will not.
Like His Burger, He Did Not
2.) Einstein: So then I says to ‘er, “Listen baby, time is NOT relative when you’re going on a date. If I say I’m pickin’ you up at 7, I mean be ready at 7, not 7:45.” Bitch had my ass sittin’ in the car waitin’ on ‘er for 45 minutes; then she pulls this “time is relative shit” with me. This homeboy don’t play like that! Last time she’ll ever be seenin’ my wrinkled old white ass! And there ain’t nuttin’ relative ’bout that!
Dating Was Serious Business To Albert Einstein
3.) John Wayne: Stay away from acting as a living, kid. All that horseback ridin’ I did in my movies gave me hemorrhoids the size of golf balls.
Acting For A Living Was A Pain In John Wayne’s Ass
4.) Lassie: Woof! Woof! Grrrr! Pant, pant, pant. Woof! Meow!
Meow?
5.) Batman: Robin! Did you rub Ben Gay into the codpiece of my costume again? This is NOT funny! Grow up, or find another 40-year-old man who wants to run around with a 13-year-old boy dressed in tights fighting crime all night.
Ben Gay In Batman’s Codpiece Really Burns Him Up
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
Hahahaha OMG I love this! All of it, but my fav was Yoda 😀
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Thank you, I do. Yoda. My favorite, he is. Love him, I do. 🙂
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Lassie’s comment topped them all! 😀 She’s soooo smart.
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But of course she is. 🙂
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Love the “New Rules,” presentation. But, end a sentence with a verb, you will? Make you sit in the corner with a dunce cap, I will. :O
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Right rules, Yoda’s are. Jedi Master, he is. Empire Strikes Back, you must watch. Rules of English, arbitrary they are, at least for Jedi Masters. 🙂
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I can imagine a lady making Einstein wait and then pulling that time is relative line with him. Hilarious
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Quite the player Einstein was.
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“John Wayne: Stay away from acting as a living, kid. All that horseback ridin’ I did in my movies gave me hemorrhoids the size of golf balls.”
He actually did say this. I was there. He wanted to show me. I declined.
Later that day, I saw him playing golf on horseback. I knew he had lied. But he rode tall in the saddle, nevertheless. So – “print the legend,” as he admonishes in Fort Apache. Children need their heroes, after all….
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With or without hemorrhoids. 🙂
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I can relate to Yoda and Einstein, and I didn’t know Lassie’s sexuality was so… indeterminate!
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Poor gal. 🙂
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LOL .. my favorite is all
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Glad you like ’em.
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🙂
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Haha! Super!! Yoda is awesome here! Poor John Wayne! 😄
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Thank you, I do. 🙂 Yoda’s my favorite Star Wars character. Love ’em!
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Meow 🙂
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Woof!
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Poor Lassie. Hollywood can be so very confusing
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I know. CRAZY place. 🙂
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Thank you for making me laugh!
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Thank you for reading and laughing.
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Reblogged this on Nick Thiwerspoon.
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Thanks for the re-blog. I greatly appreciate it. 🙂
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