Governor Declares Wisconsin A Muslim State

Wisconsin Governor, Peter B. Slipperi

Wisconsin Governor, Peter B. Slipperi

Maidupville, Wisconsin.  In news today that is sure to ruffle the panties of many a Christian, Wisconsin Governor, Peter B. Slipperi declared Wisconsin a Muslim state. “I’m a Muslim,” said Governor Slipperi this morning, “and it is my right, and my duty, as a religious follower of Allah to ram my faith directly up the anuses of every man, woman, and child in Wisconsin. I’m hereby officially declaring Wisconsin a Muslim state.

Christian residents of the state must either convert to Islam or be expelled from their homes, and the state, permanently. Atheist residents will be burned, alive, at the stake for being, well, for being atheists. All Christian churches will be converted to mosques. Any church refusing to convert will be burned to the ground, its parishioners executed. Also, each brick of cheese made in the state must now be packaged with the following label:

Official Wisconsin Profession Of Faith

THIS CHEESE WAS MADE IN WISCONSIN

Conservative Americans have been screaming for a theocratic government where religion and law are one for quite some time now. Well, now, in Wisconsin at least, we have one. This order goes into effect today. I’ve replaced all state police with extremely angry and devoted ISIS members to help me enforce it. So, for your own good, do as you’re told. May Allah have mercy on those foolish enough to resist.”

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24 thoughts on “Governor Declares Wisconsin A Muslim State

  1. The Mosque Daily News said there will be no more teaching of evil evolution in schools and teachers must lead prayer five times a day. Minarets (towers from which a Cryer calls the faithful to prayer–and EVERYONE will be faithful) will be constructed in every town. No more porn (except for the Jihadi leadership and the Mullahs). Blue Laws will be reinstated. Women’s reproductive decisions will be controlled by the state–wait! We’re already doing that! No dancing, no music, no women showing skin, no sex, no fun.

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  2. “and it is my right, and my duty, as a religious follower of Allah to ram my faith directly up the anuses of every man, woman, and child in Wisconsin.”
    HOW do you even come up with something like this? Hahaha

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  3. This would really start a shitstorm if it took off as one of those crazy internet meme things lol.

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  4. Egads! Sharia law in America? I’m gonna gather up all our Christian soldiers and go marching onwards to…

    Hmm, where should we attack? Aleppo? Mosul? Mecca? Milwaukee?

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  5. Hahaha! Oh boy, you rock as always

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  6. I’m not sure the US has got its head around Islam (one can tell this by simply listening to Republicans chatting about foreign policy). Plainly – and I guess being American – you have picked up the vibe and run with it. Great satire yet again. All religions are tosh in my book yet this view of Islam being worse than Christianity (a view clearly taken by our ‘right wing’ parties over here as well) is utter bollocks. Thus far – and we have loads of Muslims over here – I’ve never met one I didn’t like. The only thing that will always baffle me is how any person of reasonable intelligence cannot tell handed down legend from true history.

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    • Or how some can claim one is absolute truth and the other evil bullocks. Christian conservatives just don’t get that they’re just as bad, worse actually, as any Muslim they demonize when they constantly cram their religion down others throats. Freedom of religion must mean freedom FROM religion, all religions, or there is no freedom of it to be had. I’ve never been bothered by Muslims I know over here, either. I have, and am regularly bothered, by Christians, however. They’re the ones who piss me off the most. Ugh!

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    • I could have just as easily chosen Buddhism for this post as Islam. Christian conservatives here see every way of thinking wrong but theirs, and they’ve no idea they are the ones who couldn’t be wronger and more against Liberty and freedom than any one else around.

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  7. Thanks. Great job as you always do. I have to run to do some errands. Be well and freely happy. Hugs

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  8. Pingback: Governor Declares Wisconsin A Muslim State | Scotties Toy Box

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