The AMC cable network’s afterlife department released a statement today that Joseph Stalin, atheist, Socialist dictator, and all around son of a bitch, will host a new and unique movie review show this spring with the original spreader of Christianity himself, Saint Paul.
The show will be called, We Ain’t Seen It, But We’re Gonna Criticize It Anyway. It will primarily feature Stalin and St. Paul critiquing movies they haven’t seen based entirely on reviews of others whose names they often won’t be able to recall or pronounce. In some cases, the two historical giants will review movies they actual have no intention of ever seeing but feel compelled to express an opinion on because others have.
In order to appear snobbish and anti-establishment, they will take particular care in trashing any Shakespeare film that comes out as out-dated irrelevant tripe not worthy of their time. The two will engage in rants of righteous pontificating with such a conviction, viewers will swear they simply MUST be correct in their opinions of the films they review, though they haven’t seen them and probably never will. From time to time, Stalin and Paul will review popular TV shows and popular books based solely on what others have said about them. A lot of esoteric and big words will be used during the reviews to keep the viewer thinking he’s listening to two intelligent people converse. The new show will debut after the season premier of Mad Men on AMC. Stalin and St. Paul will not watch the premier but will critique it anyway after they hear what a few others have to say about it.