Jesus Offers Solution To Pedophile Rapist Priest Problem

Jesus Telling Two Child Rape Victims To Forgive Their Rapist

Jesus Telling Two Child Rape Victims To Forgive Their Rapist

Jesus, that wacky, hard to reach all-caring god, offered his solution today to the problem of pedophile rapist priests in the Catholic Church. “Look,” Jesus said,” let’s get one thing straight first: no one’s perfect. We need to forgive these poor priests and continue to secretly relocate them each time they are accused of little boy rape because, well, it’s stressful to be accused of little boy rape, even when it’s true.  Also, by putting focus on priests who prey on and rape little boys, we take the focus off the REAL problems corrupting the world today: Gays getting married and gays existing in the first place. There would be no little boy rapist priests if there where no gays to begin with. Kill the problem at the source I say.  Abort any fetus and kill any infant that has ANY statistical probability of turning out gay.  A mother who likes musical theater, for example, is FAR more likely to produce a male child who’ll like it too.  And EVERYONE knows that men who like musical theater focus on cocks the way cats focus on mice. Kill ’em in the womb, baby! Nothing immoral about abortion then, I say.  As for adult men who suck the cocks of other men, they should be flayed alive and fed to the poor.  Two problems are solved there.

Remember, though it may hard to do at first, that gays are the real problem with just about everything wrong in the world today.  They are demons, not the Catholic Cardinals who shelter little boy rapist priests nor the little boy rapist priests themselves. That’s my word for today. Thank you, and please, remember, NEVER fuck anyone you haven’t wed through the Catholic Church and NEVER use birth control. Amen.

Note: Here is a link to a legitimate website which lists known pedophile rapist priests and other rapists working in the Catholic Church throughout America.  Priest Search

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18 thoughts on “Jesus Offers Solution To Pedophile Rapist Priest Problem

  1. I have yet to ask a new Muslim friend I have made who is gay and told me how restrictive his faith is towards same sex activities, how he balances it out with the many in his faith that say until a boy grows facial hair it is ok to use them for sex. I just don’t know how to ask him that question. I have had a rough week and these question can hurt. Love your satire, hugs.

    • I don’t know how one could possibly reconcile a faith like Islam with their being gay. I’ve some Catholic friends who are gay and attend mass where they listen to sermons on the evils of gay marriage and of being “actively” gay. I mean, fuck that shit. Just start a new faith and piss on these old archaic ones. Take what good you think they have; write a new “holy book”, if you really need one, and toss out the old nasty ones.

    • I have to get to the point my self where I can ask the question. See he has told me to ask, but in my self I am too torn to deal with it now. Hugs

    • I don’t think I could ask him either. It’s just so complicated.

  2. i’m just going to say this. i think priests should be allowed to get married. this is the stupidest thing i have ever heard of, considering the day and age we live in.
    psychologists could say how ridiculous it is & all the problems caused… i want to see priests picketing, saying we have rights like everyone else: food, air water……..

  3. “Also, by putting focus on priests who prey on and rape little boys, we take the focus off the REAL problems corrupting the world today: Gays getting married and gays existing in the first place.”

    Brilliant, sir… simply brilliant! 🙂

    • Thanks. Catholic bullshit REALLY pisses me off. They’ve allowed child rape to go on for centuries, and they have an issue with gay marriage? Fuck them.

    • I hear you. I am constantly baffled by the pass congregants continually give the church. The structure is rotten, move on. I guess right there is the problem. A lot of these congregants “need” the crutch, and although deep down they do not sanction the church, they simply have no other support mechanism to turn to. It’s one of the biggest challenges facing Humanism this century: to present a viable alternative.

    • I totally agree.

  4. By feeding gays to the poor, you solve two problems at once. Very funny

  5. When I was still a kid, my mother took me to see ‘Les Misérables’, the musical. When the movie came out last year, I was already so gay I took my mother. I love my mother. And cocks.
    I concur with your words. My mother likes musicals. Hence I can tell you the price of lube anywhere in the world. Genetics and prenatal environment had nothing to do with it. I blame Jean Valjean and his gorgeous chest hair.
    Feed me to the poor, please, before I turn other people gay as well!

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