My Solutions To Homophobia

I’m really sick of listening to homophobic, hate-filled bullshit from Christians and Conservatives. Fucking sick of it. Though I’m not gay myself, I’ve seen gays portrayed in TV shows and in movies. From these portrayals, I’ve come to understand that gay people are actually just humans, no different from myself, except for the cock sucking and man-gina riding, that is. This being said, I’ve come to the conclusion that homophobia is a severe mental illness: A mental illness from which humanity must be cured if it is to survive. Let me tell you my plan for curing it.

First, I must gain the power of a god and become ruler of America. Once I do this, and it may take a while because it’s never been done before, I’ll make the following decrees which, in time, will eliminate homophobia.

Me As God

Me As God

1.) On their 18th birthday, every person, whether or not they’ve done it already, MUST have sex with a member of the same-sex. Girls will lick pussy, and boys will suck cock. Some will like it, and some will really not like it, but all will do it. This way, every man will have sucked dick, and every woman will have suckled on a pussy at least once in their life. After this, it’s up to the individual if they liked it enough to do it again, or not. The point is, EVERYONE will have to do it.

We Gotta Do It. Try To Have Fun

We Gotta Do It. Try To Have Fun

2.) If, at any point in a person’s life after this, they utter a homophobic comment, or worse yet, make such a comment because they claim some imaginary god hates gays, they will have to have sex with a member of the same-sex for the rest of their lives or simply not have sex. This way, no matter how much someone may think they hate gays, they will hate me far more if they don’t change their thinking.

The Only Sex Allowed For Homophobes

The Only Sex Allowed For Homophobes

3.) Every religion that states its god hates gays will be dissolved. Period. Actually, every religion stating it is correct and others are wrong will be dissolved. So, if a religion makes you happy to practice it, yippy for you. Practice it. Just remember, you will not be allowed to judge and condemn anyone because of it. Period. Shut up and enjoy your religion nicely, or I’ll wipe it out. Kapeesh?

Things I'd Do If I Were God

Things I’d Do If I Were God

And there you have it. My solutions to homophobia. Imperious Rex!

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55 thoughts on “My Solutions To Homophobia

  1. love the part where if you have a faith , enjoy it and don’t judge others or lose it. Hgus

  2. Homophobia is a mental illness – sociopathy.

    But, as much as I respect anyone’s right to suck c**k, I ain’t doing it!

  3. Your proposal sounds solid. But you realise that the biggest homophobes are the latent homosexuals themselves, don’t you? They’ve already acted according to your plan, but it was certainly not enough to change their minds. I admire your sense of justice.

    • Yes, but my solutions are public ones. EVERYONE will know what you’ve done. The homophobes who hate outwardly but covet the same sex inwardly will have no way to hide or deny that they too have suckled on the forbidden fruit of another man or woman and thus their hatred will be obviously self directed. Thanks for reading and commenting. 🙂

  4. So I laughed and then that pic turned me on – not the second one, the third one – then I laughed again. I’m a sick, twisted individual and I love your posts…..think about it….what does that say about you? 😉

  5. I’ve been proposing rule number one for a long time now.

  6. Funny, I recently posted a comment somewhere that suggested homosexuality should become a religion instead of a sexual preference. That way the American Constitution would have no choice but to take gays as seriously as christians…
    So I’m guessing you could be the god to that religion if you like (at least the position is open and you seem qualified for the job;))

  7. Your rules are tough but I see how they could work.

  8. Point 3 is good – I will always fight on the side of the gays/lesbians or indeed any group that is frowned upon for no good reason. So much hate in the world, so much important stuff needs correcting/resolving – why do the religions take time out marginalizing the gay community when ’tis none of their business in part or at all; it’s not even an issue any one should even be thinking about? Well that’s me pissed off before breakfast – best go back to the pills!

  9. I’m not a huge fan of Gervais, but i did like this sketch:

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