God, Why Isn’t There A Vaccine Against Anti-Vaxxers?

He Refused His Mouth Eating Bacteria Vaccination

He Refused His Mouth Eating Bacteria Vaccination

Doctors today at the MAYO Clinic announced that a vaccine to protect normal, rational human beings from the blubbering idiocy of anti-vaxxer theorists has not yet been developed. “We are working on it fervently,” said vaccine specialist,  Doctor Kan A. Bus.  “We understand how severely gnawing it can be on the emotions of rational human beings forced to listen to the senseless drivel of paranoid vaccine conspiracists who claim it is harmful to vaccinate children against illnesses that at one time were pandemic and literally have the power to kill hundreds of thousands of people if left unchecked. Until we have one, the following techniques have been shown to be effective in making these blithering buffoons shut-up should they begin an anti-vaccine tirade when around you.

Vaccines Are For The Wisest Amongst Us

Vaccines Are For The Wisest Amongst Us

  1. Pretend you don’t speak English when their tirade begins and offer them a Kleenex to use after first blowing your nose in it in front of them.

  2. If you have any large pimples, pop one open and attempt to wipe some of its contents on their clothing. The un-vaccinated idiots almost ALWAYS run like hell when this technique is used.

  3. Pretend you are a Zombie and attempt to eat them. This can be effective, but often requires an actual flesh tearing bite on your part to convince them you’re trying to eat them.

  4. Tell them you are a Catholic priest infected with HIV, syphilis, and crabs and are intending to rape their children once you learn where they are.

  5. Tell them you are a smallpox carrier, immune to the disease yourself, who just LOVES to intentionally infect idiots too stupid to get vaccinations against diseases like smallpox.

  6. If all else fails, take out a Bible and start reading out loud from page one. If that doesn’t get them and everyone else near you to run like hell, nothing will.”

Advertisements

26 thoughts on “God, Why Isn’t There A Vaccine Against Anti-Vaxxers?

  1. I’m so in agreement with the message: the anti-vaxxers are such douchebags!
    I was eating as I was reading so found the middle bit kinda gross but that’s my own fault for stuffing myself like a pig haha

  2. Yes God, why isn’t there a vaccine against the Anti-Vaxxers?

    I’m waiting…

    No response? Okay, I don’t believe in you either. Guess I’ll have to resort to using the 6 techniques.

  3. The government began research on an anti-dumb vaccine under Bush, but Cheney squashed it – he wanted to keep George W. just the way he was. (And still is, judging by his third-grade level ‘paintings”.)

  4. Reblogged this on The Blogging Path and commented:

    I guess God wouldn’t have it any other way! Yeah, anti-vaccinators!

  5. you have an endless hilarious supply of names for people

  6. OH Gross…..The images are so vivid. hope it works, Hugs

  7. or just kill them and don’t be caught doing it

  8. Too bad you have to use satire to highlight the sheer stupidity of humans.

  9. We are much in need of such vaccine.

Comments are closed.