Because my sanity is not at all stable, I often get ridiculously nonsensical ideas that I turn into blog posts. This is one them. If famous characters from the Bible were animals, here’s what they’d look like. Hallelujah!
1.) Here’s God just after he, unexpectedly, created the first humans.
I Didn’t Think It Would Really Work. What The Hell Am I Suppose To Do Now?
2.) And here’s his number one bad-ass of a son, Jesus.
I Told Ya I Could Lift It, Pa. Didn’t I? Well, Didn’t I?
3.) And now, to help us round out the three gods who are, somehow, actually only one, here’s The Holy Spirit.
Say, Jesus, I Dropped By To Use Your Pool. Hope You Don’t Mind.
4.) John the Baptist’s freshly decapitated head is next.
What The Fuck Are You Lookin’ At?
5.) A group shot of the 12 Apostles arriving at Jesus’ place for the last supper.
OK, Jesus, We’re Here. Where’s The Eats?
6.) Eve, the first woman, in a rather compromising position.
Hey, Adam! This Apple Just Fell On Me. Could You Help Me Get It Off? Just Don’t Bite Into It For Christ’s Sake, OK?
7.) And, here’s Adam and Eve suffering the consequences of Adam not following Eve’s instructions from the above picture.
Wadda Mean Yer Kickin’ Us Out? Where The Hell Are We Gonna Go?
8.) Lastly, we have this lovely picture of Allah, the great god of the Koran, as he moves into his new home.
There Is Room For Only One God In This Hen House, And It Ain’t You, Yahweh!
Fini
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
Well, here I go promoting plate tectonics again – I’m thinking by the number of comments here they get a whole lot of promotion. Well maybe they need it. Anyway, this post is over the top f*****g hilarious. I was grabbed silly with the very first image… and downhill from there. Do you realize, your Great Tacpiness, that thanks to you I’ll never be able to take god seriously again? And ain’t that a crying shame, huh? This calls for at least three beers of penance, methinks. I know, I’m not a priest, so I’m self-medicating, what the hell.
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All hail self-medication!
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Great on Yahweh’s face after creating the first human. He had meant to create an ape, but screwed up. See what a mess he made?
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Indeed. 🙂
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Thank you for visiting my blog.
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And you mine. 🙂
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Yay, thank the divine! Our mutual pal Mike sent me over to read this post cos it has hamsters on it and I always blog hamsters. So, am I glad I’m here x
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Great to have you here. 🙂 Mike’s a great guy and one helluva a great writer.
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Hahahah!
Brother you killed me with this one. Who woullda think of this?
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That’d be me. Bat-shit crazy and proud of it! Glad I could make you laugh. Makes my day knowing I did it. 🙂
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Garden of Eden furnished by IKEA?
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I believe so. Ironic, eh?
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Nah, you got it wrong your eminence! The first picture is Adam after he ate of the fruit: “And their eyes where open…, and he saw that Eve was naked…” 😉
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Adam resembled more of a jackass at the time that occurred, if my Bible picture stories are right. And they always are cause, I have faith in ’em, don’t ya know.
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Mea culpa your eminent holiness, I was wrong and now am very sorry.
“Hail Mary… X 100” would cover my miserable mistake?
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Naw. Just have a shot and a beer. Easier to do, and more fun. 🙂 May the Holy Lemur be with you. 🙂
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I am down with the Apostles! LOL!
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Right? What bunch of nice looking guys. Who woulda thunk it, eh?
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I bet they sing well, too 🙂
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I’ll bet. Bet they’d put out a killer album if they put they’re minds to it. “The Apostles Sing, And Moo, And Oink, And Bark” they could call it. 🙂
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God’s reaction while reading your post.
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Love those little lemurs! Cutest things evolution ever evolved. 🙂
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They are both adorable and ugly. 😀
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And kinda scary too. Still, I love ’em. 🙂
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Hahaha Victoria. The look on those eyes!
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Victoria’s or the lemur’s? 🙂
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Well, both hahaha. But the Lemur’s I mean
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Oh, I knew that. 😀 I was just doing what I do and being a silly, irreverent ass. I REALLY like being a silly irreverent ass, too. Hee Haw!!!
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😀
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Hello hello, I showed this to Ron as he got up and he loved it. Put him in a good mood for getting up and going to work. Thanks and Hugs
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Thanks. Makes me feel good to bring smiles to people. 🙂
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This is both hilarious and unexpectedly adorable! Just like you! :p
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Why thank you very much. You made my evening with those kind words. 🙂
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You’re welcome!
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