New Muslim, And Former Pope, Mohammad Ali Dolli
The Shire, Middle Earth. In faith shattering news out of the Vatican today, former Catholic, and Pope, Francis has announced his conversion to Islam after having a near death experience while on vacation in Hawaii last week. “I was doing what I normally do one morning, eating a big bowl of communion wafers with sugar and milk, when one of the wafers became lodged in my wind pipe and I blacked out,” the former Pope said earlier. “My man-servant, Robert Slippery Fella, luckily noticed me lying face down, and unconscious, in the bowl of wafers and performed CPR on me until I came to. I had actually been dead for a minute or so before being revived and, during that minute, I clearly felt my soul leave my body and begin to enter the gates of Heaven. What shocked me about this experience was that I did not see Jesus in Heaven awaiting me but Allah and 72 virgin brides wearing T-shirts with my picture on them. Allah had a big smile on his face and was waving his finger at me as if to say, ‘See, Pope Francis, you had it ALL wrong.’ But just as he was about to open his mouth and speak to me, I was pulled back into the land of the living by the life saving efforts of Mr. Slippery Fella. Needless to say, I have forsworn my former, and erroneous, life as a Catholic and Pope, and have converted to Islam, the one, true religion. I have also changed my name to Mohammad Ali Dolli and will be moving to Mecca at the end of next month. Goodbye for now. Assalaam-O-Alaikum.”
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
u r too cynically funny. continue…
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Will do.
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I swear I don’t know what is wrong with me, I keep wondering what made this Robert guy so slippery?
…I am always late to the damn party! I need more computer time dammit!
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He bathes in fish guts, I believe, and, thus, he’s very slippery. 🙂
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I had a NDE at 17, starved to the point of death, my maternal grandfather , then frail and old, rushed me to the hospital after I had collapsed. I had a wonderful happy time being dead. No pain, no worries, and so calm and wonderful. Then I was crammed back into the pain soaked body I lived in, with the pressures of the world around me. I asked the doctor in the room with people working over me why he did that, his response surprised me..He said ” everyone I have manged to save has asked me that very same question as soon as they could talk”…So that is my NDE. and I decided to try to stick around for a while. Hugs
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Fascinating. Thanks for sharing that. And, as usual, thanks for reading and commenting. Oh, BTW, I’m glad you were saved and I got to meet you. 🙂
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Gotta’ watch those NDE experiences … you never know what you might encounter!
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Right you are. If I ever have one, I hope to see Asgard and lots of Valkyries awaiting me. And, of course, lots of puppies. 🙂
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Reblogged this on The Blogging Path and commented:
That’s wrong! So the dead pope does an OBE and sees the Almighty to a religion that kills innocent Christians. My beef with his “revelation” is why settle for 72 cousins when he could have all of them, including lesbian virgins. Just saying.
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Crazy Popes do crazy things, especially after they’ve come back from the dead. 🙂
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Hahaha!! Great stuff!
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Why, thank you. I love your comics, too. 🙂
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Thank you!! :blush:
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🙂
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Let’s take this show out on the road and totally confuse, anger, stun and generally piss off the righteous Swaggarts et all out there……………of course, then you become a deity to people like me and oh it starts all over again. LOL.
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I gave up my delusions of godhood when I gave up being Batman several years ago. Now, I get joy from just chillin’ in my Batcave and writin’ my little diddies to aggravate religious fundamentalists whenever and however I can. I’ll leave Nightwing and others to duke it out physically with the likes of the Joker and Pat Robertson. I’m too old and too lazy to do it anymore. I’ve no idea what any of this means, but it sounded cool when I was writing it, so there. 🙂
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Oh Lord of the Rebels ’tis great! No, we do not need any more pontificating pontiffs but we have them so we need you, scribbling away in your damp cave, to keep our real spirits up.
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$Amen$ to that, my Brother. $Amen$ to that.
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Or $Amen$, my Sister, I mean. 🙂
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” eating a big bowl of communion wafers” – isn’t all that body-of-christ high in cholesterol? Maybe he just needed a change of diet….
Pope, Imam, Grand Poobah, it’s all the same lodge with different meeting rooms.
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Cholesterol free, but loaded with sugar.
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As John has said, it would be nice to read the type of heaven Muslims go to in their NDE’s. We could then start heaven tourism either to Muslim heaven or Christian heaven, whichever shall have been properly described by the travellers.
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I wanna go to Asgard and be a Norse god when I die. That’d be fun.
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You haven’t considered owning a planet as a
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I’m too lazy to own a planet. Too much responsibility. I wanna hang out with Thor and Odin.
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It is better to hang out with the gods and the sons of god. I agree with a planet to own, you will have to answer prayers from christians asking for help to kill muslims and vice versa
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Yes. All rather boring and tedious if you ask me.
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It really is a tough job. Neighbor praying for rain and another for sunshine. One for the death of president and another for the life of the president.
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Which, I suppose, makes polytheism more sensible than monotheism. You can dole out jobs to other gods and even smack each other around, in a bare knuckle, shirtless kinda way. 🙂 Gotta be cautious. Can’t have too many comments in the comment section here or no one else will be able to find the “Leave A Comment” box. Naw. I’m just fuckin’ around. That’s me. Jovial until a bare knuckle, shirtless match comes my way. Then I simply tuck tail ‘n run. Hee Haw!!!! 😀
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Hee Haw!
Polytheism makes life easy. There is a god for every occasion.
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Don’t the Hindu’s believe in like, millions of gods? Hell, why not. It’s just as easy to believe in millions of gods that don’t exist as to believe in only one god that doesn’t exist. Polytheism and monotheism are equal when it comes to believing in things that aren’t there.
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They have a million gods but I think they have three reigning gods at the moment; Krishna and I don’t know the other two
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Curly and Moe. 🙂
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Thanks brother, those are their names
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They’re the gods of slapstick comedy. love ’em. Ginesh, the elephant lookin’ god is up there with Krishna, I believe.
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Krishna, Brahma and Shiva, I think
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Oh. Krishna stuck a shiva into Brahma and made Ginesh angry, so he sprayed water on them both from his trunk. 🙂
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Hahahah 😛 Sounds legit. Are we mocking religion? A Hindu may punch us since popeye said it is ok to punch a guy for mocking religion.
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Right. Be careful not to be punched by an angry Hindu. Gotta hand it to the Hindu’s. Ain’t often they go on jihad type missions and slaughter innocent non-believers in their faith. Guess they’re kinda behind the times when it comes to that. 🙂 Religion would not trouble me if all of them were passive and peaceful, AND non interfering with human progress.
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The caste system which I think has a religious basis has left many of them in poverty
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Well, that makes purchasing explosive vests rather hard to do. Difficult to go on a religious killing spree with just twigs. 🙂
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It does, unless you can make explosives from twigs
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🙂
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What does he intend to do with his risque DVD’s?
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Good question. I suppose he could sell them in the Muslim world and risk a stoning. I wouldn’t, but you know the former pope, he’s a risk takin’ wild man.
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I saw this earlier. What an utter jackass. I gave this guy the benefit of the doubt, but fuck him. Same Catholic Church, same Catholic bullshit. And, I always wonder why people who have NDE’s ALWAYS have visions of a christian type heaven in them? Does anyone have a near death experience and see Loki or Thor? How about Poseidon, or a Valkyrie? Crazy-ass bullshit.
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Be interesting to hear the NDE’s of Muslims. Do they see hoards of women?
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And why is it that Muslims do not have NDE’s in which they see Jesus? If christians are right, shouldn’t they? Nonsense. And idiots murder people and discriminate against people based on their childish beliefs in this kind of shit. Brother, religion SUCKS! I try not to be B & W with things, but in the case of organized formal religion, it fucking sucks.
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There was an Asperger spectrum atheist caller on a relatively recent (IIRC) episode of The Thinking Atheist who told of her NDE where she saw…some sci fi characters or something.
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Sounds like fun things to see upon death, Yoda and Mr. Spock. 🙂
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…and good riddance
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Absolutely.
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Well, anything better than converting to protestantism…
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Indeed.
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