Tony Stark Gives Tearful Webcam Apology
Tony Stark, aka, Iron Man, gave a tearful webcam apology this morning to fans saying he’s become too fat to wear the Iron Man armor and will be selling it on E-bay. “I’m so terribly sorry this has happened,” Mr. Stark said while eating a jelly donut and weeping. “Ever since Pepper Potts and I broke up, I’ve been in a deep depression and my only comfort has been jelly donuts and reading this really cool blog called, The Arm Chair Pontificator. Dude who writes it is fucking brilliant! I’m nominating him for the Nobel Prize. He’s THAT smart.
Iron Man Armor For Sale On E-bay
Any way, the armor will go up on E-bay in the next day or two and I’m hoping someone thin enough to wear it buys it and puts it to good use. It comes with a full battery charge and a 6 month warranty against rust. I apology again to all my fans for letting myself go like this and I thank you for letting me be one of your super heroes. Wish me luck as I wish it to you. This is Tony Stark signing off. Good Bye.”
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
Waaaait a minute! You contributed to the demise of Iron Man? He was there eating his jelly donuts and reading your blog, which I must say, is very addictive. He couldn’t get up!
LikeLike
Can’t fit in the suit anymore. Poor guy. Well, at least he has his donuts.
LikeLike
Mr Stark is sure right when he says “Dude who writes it is fucking brilliant! I’m nominating him for the Nobel Prize. He’s THAT smart.” he is on to a possible new movie on a new type of superhero. How do you think we could get to play that new superhero author person? Hugs
LikeLike
Thanks for indulging my modest ego. 😀 Oh, here’s a post about a new superhero I created to join the Avengers. You might get a laugh. https://variouspontifications.com/2014/04/15/new-hero-prurient-man-to-debut-in-next-avengers-movie/
LikeLike
Maybe ‘Aluminium Man’ – soft and non magnetic could be the answer and represent a new career opportunity!
LikeLike
Great idea. I’ll pass it on to Mr. Stark when I bring him his tea this evening.
LikeLike
What the hell does a former – now fat – former Iron Man scoff?
LikeLike
Earl Grey. Hot. He’s a bit like Captain Picard in that regard.
LikeLike
Could he not fight crime and the bad guys as Fat Man?
LikeLike
I do suppose he could build a larger armor for himself. He’d look kinda silly though, especially standing next to Thor and Captain America.
LikeLike