“Internet traffic froze this morning for a fraction of a millisecond in honor of The Arm Chair Pontificator which published its 3 millionth post at 8:54 AM, CST,” said WordPress publicist, Fr. Peddy O’File.
“We here at WordPress have never known one of our blogs to be so popular, so pertinent, and so bloody Nobel Prize worthy as to inspire its author to publish 3 million posts in just 16 months. Our hats are off to you, Mr. Pontificator. We thank you. We congratulate you. And we beg you, kind Sir, to please sire children with every fertile woman who works for us in order to insure the survival of your manly, brilliant, Nobel Prize worthy DNA. Do this, if not for yourself, because we know how modest you are, then for the billions of readers whose lives will lose all meaning should your DNA not be passed on to another, Nobel Prize worthy, being like yourself. Congratulations once again, and thank you. Thank you from the deepest, darkest corners of all our souls here at WordPress, for being such an important, central part of our blogging family. $Amen$”