“Torturing People Is The Bomb,” Says Dick Cheney

Cloud City, Bespin.  In frank and honest news this morning, former U.S. Vice President, Richard “Dick” Cheney announced that he personally tortured dozens of Muslims held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba because it was fun.

Dick Cheney Illustrates Torture By Two-Fingered Choking

Dick Cheney Illustrates Torture By Two-Fingered Choking

“Your goddamn right it was fun,” Cheney said today. “I got a stiffy every time I made another human being scream in pain and beg me for mercy. And why shouldn’t I have, goddamnit! Do you not remember 9/11? Americans were attacked that day. We hurt. We bled. We lost loved ones and cried. Well, what’s wrong with us getting revenge by torturing the living shit outta some of those who may or may not have known someone who may or may not have been somehow, perhaps, involved in the 9/11 attacks? They were fuckin’ Muslims for Christ’s sake! Who the fuck cares if we tortured ’em? Certainly not the CIA agents who also got stiffies from making other humans scream and beg for mercy. Fuck, they loved doing it as much as I did. Man, you haven’t lived until you’ve stuck a tube up some dark-skinned Muslim’s ass to “feed” him. Ha, ha, ha! Oh, man, if I shut my eyes, I can hear the screaming as if it were happening right now. Funny as fuck, I tell ya. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! I crack myself up.

Republicans Waterboard A Democrat

Republicans Waterboard A Democrat

If you promise not to tell anyone, I’ll let you in on a little secret. I love torturing people so much, I’ve been helping a few conservative Republicans I know torture liberal, pansy-ass Democrats for years now. It isn’t exactly legal, not yet anyway, but it soon will be. You see, my home boys have total control of the House, the Senate, and the Supreme Court, and in 2016, we’ll have control of the White House, too. I can guaran-fuckin’-tee you of that. Cause the liberals are too weak to stop us, and even if they weren’t, we’d just keep torturing ’em until they were. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Christ Almighty, do I ever crack my shit up!”

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11 thoughts on ““Torturing People Is The Bomb,” Says Dick Cheney

  1. Clearly some pathological sadist, that SOB Cheney.

  2. When do we arrest Dick Cheney?

  3. Cheney to a T.

  4. Reblogged this on The Blogging Path and commented:
    I’m still NOT understanding why Dick is portrayed as a “bad guy”. It’s only torture in the wee minds of those victims but a necessary “evil” for the sake of “national security”. Plus, those extremists don’t seem to like Christians much and I guess they deserve their fate. Just my opinions only.

    • So, then, if I suspect you, or your family members MAY be involved in someway with a terrorist cell, it’s completely fine for me and my government to waterboard your ass to find out whether or not you are involved. Great policy. Not at all evil, right? Cause there’s just NO WAY you’d ever be the one being tortured. Keep dreaming. But thanks greatly for the reblog. 🙂

    • And, your opinions are greatly appreciated. I am also greatly honored at all the reblogs you do of my stuff. Thank you very, very much. May the Force Be with You. $Amen$ 🙂

    • Yeah, yeah, sure, sure. I’m only reblogging because I’d loose track if I posted “Comments” only, err, I meant because you post hilarious stuff.

    • Spiffy. I only write the posts to begin with cause I’d lose track of what day it was if I didn’t.

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