Terrifying Gay Teddy Bear In Leather Bondage Hoodie.
An armed white dude from Naples, Florida today said a gay Teddy Bear dressed in a Leather Bondage Hoodie approached him and asked him to engage in rough man-on-Teddy Bear action, or else. When the white guy asked, “Or else what?”
The gay, leather-hoodied Teddy replied, “Or else I’ll take from you by force that which you won’t freely give.”
Fearing for the sanctity of his anus, the armed white guy removed his firearm and fired at the wanna be rapist Teddy. The gay Bear was not hurt and managed to escape into the nearby surrounding woods before police arrived.
Violent anal rape by leather-hoodied, gay, Teddy Bears is up 27% from this same time last year, Naples police reported. “So be careful, and carry a loaded gun on you at all times. You may just need to stand your ground and protect your anus from rape by a gay Teddy Bear like I did,” concluded the armed white dude.
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
Oh man that’s hilarious, I am literally in tears…
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Thanks, my friend. That’s the best kinda compliment you can give me. 🙂
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Check out this post I wrote a few months back. I was laughing so hard when I wrote it, I about pissed myself. I know, I’m nuts. 🙂 https://variouspontifications.com/2014/09/17/tea-party-to-offer-an-online-bigotry-course/
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You know, I almost , almost…would disagree with you. See I think a teddy bear with or without hoodies sanctifies ones anus. It is both a rite of passage into real world adult hood and it opens up the anus to many more rites and rituals. I have know people who spent many years of their life looking for just one such Teddy Bear in or out of their hoodies. Mostly out of! Hugs and best wishes.
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I agree with you on that point. Just keep such Teddy’s out of certain neighborhoods where armed buffoons are out looking for trouble, and all should be well, for welcoming anuses that is. 🙂
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The world is becoming dangerous every moment. Now we have teddy bears raping dudes!
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Sad, isn’t it?
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Too sad to comprehend
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Almost surreal really. If you think about it.
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Hey, that really is scary!
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You betcha!
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Lester Beaver has said it all – superb!
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Thank you again, Sir. Don’t you think Putin would look good dressed in a leather hoodie?
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Dressed as such I am of the opinion he’d make a fine people trafficker!
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I wouldn’t doubt he’s doing that already.
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This post has great lines that will stick with me forever:
‘The sanctity of an anus’…I never thought of it that way…
‘Violent anal rape by leather-hoodied gay Teddy Bears is up 27% from this same time last year’…that sentence is pure gold!
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Why thank you Mr. Beaver. And thanks for reading some older posts. The teddy bear one gets hits several times a day EVERY day, but no one comments. So thanks again. And good luck with your new blog. I’ll be reading it.
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Haha…guess that shows what people are looking for online, heah?
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Maybe they’re looking for toy-bestiality bondage fun, eh?
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I think it’s one of the more common bestiality fetishes around. I’m sure there are online communities for people who enjoy a good Teddy ass pounding once in a while…and let’s be honest: we all thought about it at one point or another, am I right?;)
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“Thought” about it… my friend there are things about me that, if I told them to you, would shrink your tail into a toe nail.
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I dare you!;)
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I’m writing my memoirs now. It’ll include two chapters on Oscar the Grouch, and 3 on Minnie Mouse.
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LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
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Thx, #979664. Say, I’ve a buddy named Prisoner 24601, ever bump into him in the chow line?
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