9 Out Of 10 Americans Shocked English Language Not An American Creation

What Do You Mean,English Isn't An American Creation?

What Do You Mean, English Isn’t An American Creation?

In unsurprising news today, Oxford University released its findings on a 13 month study which confirmed the embarrassing fact most Americans are unaware the English language originated in ENGLAND and not New Jersey. “Wow!” said Nancy Silliasskiss, an American. “England? People there sound, like, so fucking weird. Hell, I’d even say, effeminate, if I weren’t a lady myself. No fucking way my language started there! Someone’s fuckin’ with me. Right?”   “The sad case is,” said Oxford Professor, John Stuckupagus, “is that so many Americans are so poorly educated, and so arrogant at the same time, little in the world makes much sense to them at all, and they blame those who point this out to them for, well, pointing this out to them. Our prognosis for America is very poor. Do you realize there are groups there who literally deny the science of evolution and are vehemently fighting for creationism to be taught in public schools instead? Really, I’m not fucking with you. Sad, isn’t it.”

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56 thoughts on “9 Out Of 10 Americans Shocked English Language Not An American Creation

  1. Another GREAT read.

  2. Pingback: The Arm Chair Pontificator | 9 Out Of 10 Americans Shocked English Language Not An American Creation | Scotties Toy Box

  3. *sake of it
    I do believe my comment was too long haha

  4. Being French, I LOVED this! Haha
    I once had an awful argument with an american man in a restaurant over here in England because he was incredibly rude about the food, staff and customers. He happened to be sitting next to me and my boyfriend at the time and engaged us in conversation even though we were meant to be on a date and very plainly looked like we wanted to be left alone. This wouldn’t have been too bad if he didnt go on to display a level of ignorance and arrogance that was quite shocking. After a while, I couldn’t keep being polite and told him that he really shouldn’t have wasted his time crossing the pond if his only aim was to stubbornly ignore and insult the culture over here. His response was to totally ignore me, turn to my boyfriend and say: “you should really go over to the states and get yourself a proper girl. I dont know how you manage that one. I never trusted the French myself.” Well, after that I’m afraid that I turned rather vulgar and told him to: “Please pardon my French (ha!) but….just fuck off, you dickhead.”
    Not my proudest moment but he had it coming.
    I hasten to add that I have met many americans who were intelligent, cultivated and basically lovely people – in case you assume I’m just an american basher for the sake of it 😉

    • Great comment. Not too long at all, and I do not think you’re an American basher nor that you were wrong for telling that guy to fuck off. There are good people who are Americans, and there are some VERY rude, arrogant, ignorant bad ones. To travel to another country, then insult some woman you don’t know in a restaurant, is despicable, but it is all too common with a certain breed of American. Being an American, I’ve no trouble calling out Americans for so much of the ignorant stupid shit they do. Arrogance abounds in far too many of my countrymen. Republicans spew it from their pores like venom. I do not like that, so, I satirize them. 🙂

  5. Knowing as much about geography as most young Americans, I say I am still proud of our little island off the coast of Florida – New Jersey. They may not have given us the English language, but their legacy remains totally awesome – Shakespeare, Beethoven, Michelangelo, and of course the Power Rangers.

  6. You really should be a bit chuffed that the Mayflower was full of American speaking Americans though! Changing the subject are they really contemplating teaching creationism as ‘fact’ in your schools – surely to God (!) not!

  7. This though funny has some little ring of truth in it. Some of your countrymen seem to know so little of the world.

  8. Ha Ha, brilliant sir!

  9. I suppose next you’re going to tell us the Beatles are english and not american?

  10. Brilliant.

  11. Be Careful! You’re writing about me. 😯

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