Job Telling Friends, God’s A Prick
Lazarus Is Resurrected, Then Abandoned By Pal, Jesus
Lazarus, the friend Jesus resurrected from the dead before abandoning him forever, and Job, God’s favorite whipping boy, have joined forces in opening a Jewish Style Deli, with a unique twist, in Chicago. “We’ve been planning to do this for about 100 years,” said Lazarus, “but with Job’s chronic battles with morphine and my repeated attempts to find the right Broadway musical to fit my enormous talents, we just haven’t gotten around to it til now. Because of who we are, our deli will be unique in ways others could never hope to be. For example, with each purchase of matzo ball soup, customers will receive a lock of hair from their favorite Biblical character. Job and I have no problem with clubbing ANYONE in the Judeo-Christian Bible over the head and cutting off a large clump of hair, and scalp, too, if so desired, in order to please our customers. I’ve always felt a nice, bloody clump of hair next to your matzo ball soup made it somehow taste better. And if you want that hair to come from, say, Jesus, Mary, or Joseph, all ya gotta do is ask. Job and I are pretty fuckin’ pissed about how the Almighty and his son treated us back in the day, see. So clubbing Biblical characters over the head is something we love doing. If our customers can benefit from our rage, well, that’s just hunky-dory then, ain’t it? We’ll be open in about a week, so if you’re in town, please stop by and see us. Your taste buds will be glad you did.”
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
That’s a deli with a twist really.
HAppy new year buddy
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Same to you.
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That show was SO Jewish with its style and humor. I’m not Jewish, but I grew up watching great Jewish comedians on TV, Mel Brooks, Carl Reiner, Henny Youngman, The Marx Brothers, and so many more. Funniest bloody people alive.
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One of Mary Magdalene’S pubes with every bagel?
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2 pubes with every bagel. Why be stingy?
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Happy New Year (almost there) by the way!
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Same to you, my Friend.
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No mention of poppy seed bagels. Advise?
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Too afraid Job might eat one and accidentally test positive for opiates, thus re-triggering his methamphetamine addiction, and that’s a place no one wants to go ever again.
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LOL matzo ball soup!
elaine tested positive for poppy seed bagels on seinfeld
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That show was the best!
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it still comes on 500 times a day, i believe.lol
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I laugh at those episodes no matter how many times I’ve seen them.
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sorry, i was unpacking.
my father liked the one where the moil at the briss said i should have been a kosher butcher like my brother
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Happy New Year to you, too. 🙂
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happy new year to you FP ,TACP,
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