Dr. Miballs R. Akin, curator of the Nostradamus Museum in Gary, Indiana, announced today that he has uncovered some previously unknown prophecies of Nostradamus pertaining specifically to 2015. A few of these are listed below along with interpretations of them provided by Dr. Akin.
Prophesy One: “And there shall drift in from the East a pinkish cloud, covered in smiley faces, which the underclassmen shall name, ‘Bob’. Then a great white bear shall devour a fish named ‘Limpett’ causing the blue sea to turn red and bleed from the corners of eyes it does not have. So sayeth Nostradamus, the unambiguous one.”
Dr. Akin’s Interpretation: What Nostradamus is so very clearly predicting here is the complete collapse of the McDonald’s restaurant franchise in 2015. The cloud and the blue sea represent Ronald McDonald’s makeup pouring down his face from the tears he’s shedding over the loss of his beloved franchise. The fish being eaten by the bear represents the Red Lobster restaurant franchise. It will take over all McDonald’s store fronts by August. So has it been foretold; so too will it come to pass.
Prophesy Two: “A darkness darker than pitch and thicker than hot tar shall pour over the land of the kitties who will be too weak and too lazy to band together as one to shine a light into the blackness before it devours all they hold dear with its perpetual, ever-deepening evil. So sayeth Nostradamus, the non-nebulous one.”
Dr. Akin’s Interpretation: Without a doubt, this prophesy speaks of the immanent takeover of the American Government by the evil Republican party and the pussy-ass Liberals who will continue to passively stand by and watch it happen. This trend will continue, unchallenged, throughout all of 2015 and well into 2016, when the total annihilation of the Democratic Party is finalized with the crowning of the first Republican Emperor of The United States. So has it been foreseen; so too shall it come to pass.
Fini, for now.
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
Sounds legit
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But of course it is. How could it not be. 🙂
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did gentle ben eat ron howard’s brother. i don’t know i didn’t see the show
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Your thinking of Grizzly Adams. I believe he ate Andy Griffith, Don Knots, And Aunt Bea. Hungry guy.
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i’ll be darn. i am always getting my bears mixed up : yogi and smokey & now this.
he was a hungry guy
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Yep. 🙂
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And thanks again for all the “likes”. I appreciate it.
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thank-you for being so funny!
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Glad you think I’m funny. I love to make people laugh. 😀
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i burst out laughing 3 times , at this one today
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Best compliment I can get.
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people laugh at me when i’m not trying to be funny.my favorite dj was laughing at me at few weeks ago & i said you are the 2nd person to laugh at that ,i’m not trying to be funny & she said that’s what’s so funny, it’s you.
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I find that rather endearing. 🙂
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lol
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🙂
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“Then a great white bear shall devour a fish named ‘Limpett’ causing the blue sea to turn red” – Not the incredible Mr. Limpet! – He saved this country and Don Knotts’ career, making both safe for democracy! Without noble fish like him, who will eat all the sewage in our oceans? Bears? I doubt it!
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‘Fraid so. Look on the bright side, at least the bear didn’t eat Ron Howard too.
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This is so true but am disturbed. Why are you doing reports for other gods when we are the last and final prophets of Golden Boot
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Ah, but Nostradamus is not a god, my friend. He is but a minor copy editor in the grand book of the Golden Boot. One of many. It is we who are the real prophets. Who could ever, ever, ever disagree with that?
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Now am at peace.
How have you been my friend? I will be back posting soon. Still enjoying my holiday
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Well. Just relaxing. Reading a bit and watching films. My usual routine. Hope your holiday was fun.
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My holiday has and is still fun.
Haven’t been able to finish one book i thought I would finish during the break.
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Good to hear it.
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Oh please! Puleeze! Say Dr. A’s interpretation of Prophecy #2 is wrong. Either that or I must move to the Himalayas and become a monkette.
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I hope so, but rarely, if ever, can Nostradamus be interpreted any ole way you want to. You know, just like the bible. 🙂
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I foresee a mutated human species evolving from the ever-growing Monsato-based food supply. 85% of grocery store stock will be banned in other countries, forcing suppliers to redirect their shipments to the U.S., which the mainstream will continue to consume believing our government wouldn’t possibly provide poison for our pantries. I Am Legend will be revealed as a documentary instead of a screenplay and Republicans will announce the Emancipation Proclamation void…leading to a mandatory draft for all people of non-Caucasian descent, who will be forced to fight off the saber tooth, albino Monsato monsters.
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A great prophet you are! Wise. And connected to the great stream of conservative bullshit flowing throughout our land. $Amen$ $Amen$ $Amen$!
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Of course! It all makes sense now! Thank you for this!!
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Glad I could clear things up for you. Have a blessed day. 🙂 $Amen$
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You too! 😄
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Republicans without burgers! Thin Republicans, some closet gays God fearing chaps falling down on their knees to worship the great and wise Goddess Sarah from the northern climes!
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$Amen$
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