Study Reveals Most Americans Believe British Talk “Funny”

Harvard Janitor, Harry Sfinktor

Harvard Janitor, Harry Sfinktor

A new study conducted by Harvard janitor, Harry Sfinktor was released today and reveals 98% of Americans believe British people talk “funny.”  “Well don’t they?” Mr. Sfinktor said today on Fox News. “Just listen to ’em, why don’t ya?! It’s like they’re trying to speak the same language we Americans do, but only with their mouths partially closed and their tongues anesthetized. It ain’t right, goddamnit! I tellz ya, it just ain’t right! I sure as hell don’t want my kids listening to them banter on like that. It’s terrifying. That’s what it is. Terrifying. Somethin’ is definitely wrong with those people. We Americans gave them a perfectly decent language, and they went and fucked it all to hell. That’s exactly what they did, it is! Well, I say, to hell with them! Over here in America, we’re Americans, and we speak our language the way it’s suppose to be spoken: the AMERICAN way. British people need to take a good long look at the study I conducted and start talkin’ correctly. ‘Cause if they don’t, we’ll take our language back from ’em, and they’ll have to find another one to fuck up all on their own.  Damn! Look at the time! I gotta run. Downton Abbey‘s on, and I’d hate to miss it.”

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13 thoughts on “Study Reveals Most Americans Believe British Talk “Funny”

  1. They speak Amare-i-can on Fox News.

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  2. I say Sfinktor old chap you Yanks really should calm down over a nice cuppa and The Times crossword methinks!

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  3. At harvard, it seems even janitors share the glory of the institution.

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  4. I love that ole Harry watches “Downton” 🙂
    Did you ever see that video clip of “Morning Joe” where Russell Brand was an invited guest and the co-hosts of the show were insinuating that they couldn’t understand his accent? He just put them in their place. The video went viral. Check it out on youTube.

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