Men, would you like to attract women by emitting the scent of a Bronze Age Biblical writer? Women, would you find yourselves more eager to flop down and open your thighs for men if they smelled like Bronze Age Biblical writers? If you answered yes to these questions, then TACP store has just the product for you: Scent of Ham. A cologne that is guaranteed to make its wearer not only smell like Ken Ham, but think like him as well. Never before has there been a cologne that can reduce a man’s frontal cortex to the size of an amoeba while making his sweat glands as big as golf balls with one simple application. With one spray of Scent of Ham, even Richard Dawkins would be willing to stake his life on the fact the Earth is only 6000 years old and evolution is an atheist plot meant to prepare the world for the Anti-Christ. The primitive, manly aroma of Scent of Ham is so powerful, it can revive the sex drives of women who have been dead for centuries. They will literally leap from their graves as men wearing it pass by so they can get a better whiff before returning to the cold, dank earth. Buy a bottle now, while supplies last, and receive a free Crucifix, molded directly from the fossilized poop of a T-Rex, absolutely free!
i don’t know if you will think this is funny, but i am laughing. i went to the encyclopedia, i mean google , after i asked myself ,who is richard dawkins, again. isn’t he on hogan’s heros…..no, that’s richard dawson.
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That is funny. Ken Ham could play Hogan, and Dawkins could play Richard Dawson’s part. There could be tons of identity screw ups. I like it. Dawkins is the anti-Christ to the religious right. He’s a brilliant evolutionary biologist who says creationism is bullshit, amongst other things.
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it happened again. ES didn’t write you, but your poem thinks it did..raechel did.this stupid computer , i just came back over here. so you are a smart guy who knows who richard dawson is & dawkins.. and your explanation is much better than wikipedia. they should hire you & thanks for explaining.
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No trouble. That’s why I’m here. 🙂
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lol..well that’s a good reason for you to be here: i need a lot of answers.
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🙂
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like okay this 🙂 is a smile but what is that D thingy you just did?
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This. 😀 It’s a bigger smile.
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oh 😀
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And thank you once again for all the “likes.” You’ve made my day.
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i couldn’t be any more confused.. how ..oh i see you are just saying that on this same post..thank-you for being so funny, i have to read you twice.
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Your welcome. You’re not so bad looking yourself. 😀
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you can see me? are we on romper room :do you have a magic mirror?
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I borrowed the Wicked Witch’s crystal ball from “Wizard of Oz.” She wasn’t using it.
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she would only use it for evil anyway.that’s why she’s the wicked witch
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True. It’s better off with me.
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yes it is..i can see the smiles on your post now, but not on my comments.. i really despise aol…lol..just joking
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AOL, LOL. BYO & let’s party! 😉
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LOL,, yes i had 2 friends in d.c. that programmed satellites in space & they put aol on my computer.. i asked 1, do they have a book called computer for dummies…the 1 always apologized for aol….i couldn’t watch tv , for 11 years, until wireless..LOLbut it still has control over my computer…bring my own what? smilies? lol
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Oh. beer, Pop, Wine, whatever else you wish. 🙂
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😀 i have diet a&w root beer and pumpkin brownies will be ready in 5 minutes
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Great. I’ll watch you eat ’em through the crystal ball.
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okay, i don’t blame you. i’m not trusting the silly 2 ingredient recipe.it sounds ridiculous
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Oh, I’d be glad to come by and join you, but, unfortunately, I wasn’t able to borrow the witch’s flying broom too. Sorry. 🙂
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if i had known you were coming, i would have made purple matzo ball soup. you could have borrowed cinderellas pumpkin
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I’ve never had purple matzo ball soup. Love to try it.
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LOL neither have i..haven’t had it in years & i made it 4 times, in 8 weeks.. i had purple cabbage & put some in there . it was beautiful, but they turned purple, after sitting in the refrigerator
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You might be on to something with that.
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i meant i never had it before , until now & it was good. i am just so tired . i should have ordered chinese. i am in appliance he!!…the microwave, th epot lid got stuck on soup.. dryer handle came off in my hand..washer is dripping tiny drops of water.. i can’t find my own boxes of microwaves or toasters..oh the toaster oven caught on fire , the 1st day. 🙂
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Ugh! I’m sorry. Moving really, really sucks. My thoughts are with you. 🙂
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it does.thank-you.. i told my realtor.i’m not moving again.this one better not have problems…the appliances don’t matter except the washer.. i have my own..if i could find them…they may not be here..they may be in the 45 boxes , the movers couldn’t fit on the truck…like goldilox – 1st condo- man walked on ceiling every 2 hours & woke me….so i moved to top floor…- rained through the ceiling…3. too upset to say & now 4.
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Well, I’ve got my fingers crossed for you.
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thank-you.careful they might super-glue that way.you have the 2nd most comments on errin spelling…bitter ben has 188 & you have 35..but he’s been making comments for 2 years.lol
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I’ll catch up, or is that ketchup, soon enough.
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it looks like you will and that’s heinz ketchup
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Awesome.
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would you believe after you said that,someone followed me & it says they are too shy to ask for ketchup at mc donalds on their avatar
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Isn’t that interesting? Irony. Don’t leave home without it.
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LOL i won’t , or my american express either
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Good planning.
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yeah ,maybe it would have been a better plan ,if i planned to get american express ,in the 1st place.that’s a critical part
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Yep. Happy Sunday, BTW.
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happy sunday TACP!
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I’m tempted to try this one just to see the dead women rising, but the other effect of thinking like Hammy isn’t worth it. I value my ability not to think like KH.
If you could separate those effects and market them individually I might buy both of them. The dead rising for kicks on the weekend, and the think like KH for special occaisions. That does wear off later…right?
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I used to know the answer to that, and many more, questions, but since using the cologne I can’t remember them anymore. Praise Jesus, and sorry!
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lol, scratch that order then 🙂
I have enough problems with my natural stupid already. Don’t need enhancements in that area.
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Will do.
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Could I trade it in for an actual leg of ham? 🙂
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I tried to eat Ken Ham last year for Christmas dinner. Tasted so awful I sent him back to the Creation Museum. So, I don’t recommend the “leg of Ham.”
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Too funny! Yes, I remember the indigestion you had last year. Apparently he didn’t agree with you 🙂
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More like I didn’t agree with him. He’s not a big fan of mine. 🙂 I LOVE him though.
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I’ll wait for the Ham-on-a-Rope 🙂
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I’m thinking of Ham Toilet paper next. That’ll be fun, though it my cause chaffing if used too much. 🙂
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No, that’s perfect! You can call it Penance Paper! More effective than self flagellation, right? 🙂
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Right. “How dare you say the Earth is over 6000 years old, young man! Now go and wipe your ass with Ken Ham T-paper 60 times to help you see the err of your ways!”
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Precisely!
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Thanks, I just showered my laptop with coffee spray!
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Awesome compliment! Thanks, my friend. BTW, as much as I hate Ken Ham, I love ’em, too. I get my best material from him. 🙂
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‘Scent of Ham’ – the much fable choice of tossers everywhere!
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And Creationist, too. 🙂
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Oh Geez! This made spit through my nostrils, thanks!
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Thank you! Best kind of compliment I can get. 😀
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🙂
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Be sure to check out some of my other Ken Ham bits on here, if you haven’t already. Me likey to poke fun at ‘lil Kenny. 🙂
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😀
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