That Were Never Said
Here’s a list of some truly amazing quotes attributed to famous people who actually never said them. I know they never said them because I just made them up right now.
1.) Jesus: “Hey! You! Centurion! Yes, you! Would you mind scratching my balls for me? My hands are nailed to this cross, and I can’t get to ’em.”
2.) Bill Clinton: “No, my dear, I’m not going to light the cigar. I’m just going to poke it in and out for a bit. OK?”
3.) George W. Bush: “All we have to do is tell the idiots Saddam was behind 9/11, and they won’t see we’re committing a war crime.”
4.) Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer: “Your goddamn nose would be red too if you did as much blow as I do, Frosty. So bugger off before I stick you in a microwave and make soup outta ya!”
5.) Jabba The Hutt: “Baa wanga watta, wampa poopy wanga peep bongo! Haaa! Haaa! Hunggotta me wunga wee-wee small een ga! Haaa!”
‘Nuff said for now!
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
Funny shit.
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Why thank you very much, my Friend. $Amen$
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Seems legit
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But of course it is. Why, oh why, would a nice guy like me EVER make something like this up?
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I wonder if he did smoke it after the event – presumably a Havana. Seems such a waste if you think about it!
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It does, really. There are certainly things more suited for the purpose of what he was doing with said cigar, eh?
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Marianne Faithful’s famous Mars Bar comes to mind!
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Yummy. 😉
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Question: How ARE you making it snow on your blog?
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I’m God. That’s how.
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Whoa. Your miracles are much more credible than those of the Old Testament geezer.
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That’s me. Credible miracles inc.
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Thats snow? I thought I must be running a fever…”look at the little tweety birds”
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I create it by banging my head on my monitor until the flakes appear on screen. Cool, huh?
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Ha ha ha. Funny, you. 🙂
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I see only one problem. #3 should be Lord Cheney
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I agree. Must be some kinda conspiracy going on or something.
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Lord Cheney is a conspiracy
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That he most certainly is. And, he’s one evil son of a bitch.
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