Famous Quotes No One Ever Said

That No One Ever Said

That Were Never Said

Here’s a list of some truly amazing quotes attributed to famous people who actually never said them. I know they never said them because I just made them up right now.

 

jesusoncross11.) Jesus: “Hey! You! Centurion! Yes, you! Would you mind scratching my balls for me? My hands are nailed to this cross, and I can’t get to ’em.”

 

billclinton62.) Bill Clinton: “No, my dear, I’m not going to light the cigar. I’m just going to poke it in and out for a bit. OK?”

 

georgewbbush3.) George W. Bush: “All we have to do is tell the idiots Saddam was behind 9/11, and they won’t see we’re committing a war crime.”

 

rudolph14.) Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer: “Your goddamn nose would be red too if you did as much blow as I do, Frosty. So bugger off before I stick you in a microwave and make soup outta ya!”

 

JabbaTheHutt5.) Jabba The Hutt: “Baa wanga watta, wampa poopy wanga peep bongo! Haaa! Haaa! Hunggotta me wunga wee-wee small een ga! Haaa!”

‘Nuff said for now!

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19 thoughts on “Famous Quotes No One Ever Said

  1. Funny shit.

  2. Seems legit

  3. I wonder if he did smoke it after the event – presumably a Havana. Seems such a waste if you think about it!

  4. Question: How ARE you making it snow on your blog?

  5. I see only one problem. #3 should be Lord Cheney

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