Help Ken Ham Get Through The Jurassic Era To Reality
Yesterday, Santa brought me the brand new, just released “Ken Ham Race To Reality Board Game.” It’s awesome. It comes with 4 Ken Ham figures, 6 T-Rex figures, a Jesus action figure, armed with an M-16, and a Mohammed action figure armed with a Koran and 2 commercial airline tickets. Here’s how you play the game. You lay out the Jurassic Era game board and place the Ken Ham figures in the “Creation Museum” section. Then you, and up to 3 other players, take turns rolling the enclosed dice. What ever number you roll is how many places forward you move your Ken Ham figure. The goal is to reach Richard Dawkins’ House on the other side of the board without landing on a T-Rex square and getting eaten, or landing on a Mohammed square and getting forced into an airplane during a Jihad attack before you get there.
Keep Ken Smiling By Getting Him Safely Through The Game
If Mohammed does get you or you are eaten by a T-Rex, you have to draw Bible cards, included with the game, each time your turn comes up until you get one that says,”Jesus saves!” You then simply have Jesus sacrifice himself and take Ken’s place with Mohammed or inside the T-Rex’s stomach.
Get Jesus To Sacrifice Himself And Take Ken’s Place
You can only do this twice during the game, however, before you’re considered an irredeemable Creationist and sent back to the museum permanently. Sounds like hours of fun, eh? I’m going to play the game tonight with some of my a-theist, amoral, cannibal friends while we dine on Christian infants and drink the blood of Christian virgins.
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
HAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh my stars!!! There are indeed a species like this, huh? 🤪
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Unfortunately, yes. 🙂
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Oh wow! Great game idea. Only thing is I would always be rooting for the T Rex. Yay! Ole Rex got another Ham sandwich!!
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I hear you, my friend, and I feel your pain. I wanna eat Ken Ham myself. Was gonna last year, but never got around to it.
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That photo of Ham is downright creepy!
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EVERY photo of Ham is downright creepy.
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I wanna play!
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I think I’ll make an online version. Then we can all play together!
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I want this game too.
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I’ll send one to you. You should have it by Christmas.
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Thanks mate
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No trouble.
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You’ve got to fit Sarah Palin and shooting wolves from helicopters into this somewhere 😀
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She deserves her own game. I’m working on it. Maybe a “Where’s Sarah?” game. You get a big ass picture of Alaska and have to find where Sarah is on it. Kinda like the old SNL bit, “Find the Popes in the Pizza.”
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Sod it Toys r Us just told me they’d sold out!
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I’ll send you mine when I’m done. Let’s see if you can save Ken Ham. I’m having no luck.
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Holding out for your series with Ann Coulter as one of the main characters…she always gets killed at the end, like Kenny on South Park.
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Ann Coulter? Here’s my bit on her: https://variouspontifications.com/2013/11/06/ann-coulter-confesses-i-used-to-be-man/
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Laughed so hard the kids came over to check on my well-being…
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Awesome!
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I want this game!
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It’s fun. If there still for sale this xmas, I’ll buy you one.
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You da Best!
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Of course I am. But you are a pretty good guy yourself.
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Hahahha!
Thx
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Cheers to you. I just downed a beer on your behalf.
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I thought I felt a slight buzz coming on….
Cheers!
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