Yesterday, Santa brought me the brand new, just released “Ken Ham Race To Reality Board Game.” It’s awesome. It comes with 4 Ken Ham figures, 6 T-Rex figures, a Jesus action figure, armed with an M-16, and a Mohammed action figure armed with a Koran and 2 commercial airline tickets. Here’s how you play the game. You lay out the Jurassic Era game board and place the Ken Ham figures in the “Creation Museum” section. Then you, and up to 3 other players, take turns rolling the enclosed dice. What ever number you roll is how many places forward you move your Ken Ham figure. The goal is to reach Richard Dawkins’ House on the other side of the board without landing on a T-Rex square and getting eaten, or landing on a Mohammed square and getting forced into an airplane during a Jihad attack before you get there.
If Mohammed does get you or you are eaten by a T-Rex, you have to draw Bible cards, included with the game, each time your turn comes up until you get one that says,”Jesus saves!” You then simply have Jesus sacrifice himself and take Ken’s place with Mohammed or inside the T-Rex’s stomach.
You can only do this twice during the game, however, before you’re considered an irredeemable Creationist and sent back to the museum permanently. Sounds like hours of fun, eh? I’m going to play the game tonight with some of my a-theist, amoral, cannibal friends while we dine on Christian infants and drink the blood of Christian virgins.