Denny’s Manager, Timothy Jackson.
In shocking news today, Jesus, the Lamb of God, was banned for life from a local Denny’s restaurant by the manager, Timothy Jackson. When asked why he banned our Lord, Jackson replied, “Because that dude just about put me out of business with His miracle meal visits every Sunday morning and Friday night. He’d come in and order a piece of toast and a cup of coffee for two or three bucks and then feed the whole damn restaurant of eighty or more people with them. I can’t make a profit with that kinda shit going on. Fucking show off!
Jesus Feeding Crowd At Denny’s
And it ain’t like He couldn’t afford to just pay for everyone either. He’s the bloody Son of God for Christ sake! Last I heard, God was not exactly living in poverty and needing to perform fucking miracles just to feed his family. So I kicked His ass out. I’ve a mortgage to pay and two kids in college. I can’t afford to go out of business cause the Son of Man feels compelled to show off twice a week.”
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
Brilliant brother. He should get a proper whipping
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And this time, he needs to stay dead!
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Very dead
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I heard he nearly put the surfboard sellers of Bondi Beach out of business what with that walking on water malarkey!
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Quite the show off that guy.
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Too funny. Only the second post I’ve been a follower for, but definitely the best yet. Thanks for the laugh!
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You bet. Look around the site when you’ve time. There’s lots of laughs.
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Man, you are on a roll today! Almost spilt tea all over my freshly made-up bed because of the snorting with laughter! I’m going back to my book, it’s safer haha
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Thanks. Wrote this one awhile ago, but no one saw it. So, here it is again. Love to make folks laugh.
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Toast and coffee isn’t exactly what I would call supper. Cheap s.o.b. should have at least paid for a fish fillet to add some substance to the dupli – meals. Sheesh.
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Well, I kinda assumed he could turn it into burgers and fries or what ever. After all, he created a universe, so massive, so expansively enormous we can barely comprehend its size, out of absolutely nothing, just for us.
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Wait a minute, jebus did all of that? I have to rethink everything I know about cosmology now dammit!
I thought the schtick was he could turn water into wine, and feed a lot of people with some bread and a few fish. Shows what I know 🙂
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Well, he, Yahweh, and the Holy Ghost are the same guy. So they all did everything the other them did, I guess. Kinda makes wine outta water a bit anti-climatic, you know?
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Brilliant concept that works in its simplicity…would agree this is one of your best yet;)
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wrote it awhile back and bumped it up to here. I likes it. Thanks.
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One of your best yet I feel…
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Thanks. Sucks that this happened though. That Denny’s is right up my street. I really enjoyed the free meals every Friday and Sunday.
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Hey, hey, bud! There’s no such thing as a “free meal” while stuck on this hellish planet, miracle or not. That’s all.
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Tell that to Jesus. I don’t make this stuff up. I just report it. 😀
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